


Sugarcoated

by Kiray, SubwayWolf



Category: National Football League RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Cafe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shop, Awkward Crush, Brooding, Chapter Ten unbetaed, Cooking Lessons, Dirty Talk, Drunk Driving, Edelmandola, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, First Dates, Fluff, Gyms, Jealous Ex-Partners, Love Triangles, M/M, Masturbation, Mild Language, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, Mutual Pining, Outing, Past Relationship(s), Porn Watching, Sex Toys, Shower Voyeurism, Slow Burn, Verbal Fights
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-05-14 09:51:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 43,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5739097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiray/pseuds/Kiray, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SubwayWolf/pseuds/SubwayWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny works at a café he loves with all of his heart. He grew up around the place, always visiting his Gran who had built up the shop over the years. He's got friends surrounding him - especially his best friend Rob who is also the best co-worker Danny could ever imagine and he likes the way things are going... or things <i>were</i> going.</p><p>Since <i>Julian</i> walked into the sale room three months ago, Danny's world has changed enough for him to do the most ridiculous things ever. Like buying almond milk in a local store after work, because they usually don't serve it at the café but Jules had asked for it for a while. Pathetic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cakezone

**Author's Note:**

> Edelmandola, baby!  
> This is my first Jules/Danny fic ever and [SubwayWolf](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SubwayWolf/pseuds/SubwayWolf) helped me out with the beta-ing again! <3 He'll help me with all the upcoming chapters and I can't even tell you how happy I am about that. So please click the name above, especially if you are looking for amazing porn (there is some fluff as well though ;)). Also he is amazing, so I'm being serious go check out his stuff! Now. Or after you read the chapter.
> 
> As always: I still don't own the boys, I don't earn any money with this and it's all fiction. 
> 
> This will have a few chapters but sadly I can't tell you an exact number yet. I did make this an AU but I wanted keep their current age so that's what I did. 
> 
> [Bridget](http://amenbrola.tumblr.com/) is basically the reason for this one, because she had a prompt that sparked my inspiration for this on her tumblr blog. I advice you to read this chapter and then go check her out and you'll probably find the prompt along with all the other amazing stuff <3
> 
> Read & enjoy!

It was a sunny Monday morning in the beginning of January when Danny unlocked the door to Cakezone, a café in Foxborough. He knew there was still some preparation to do before his co-workers and first customers would arrive, but it was oddly satisfying to step into the empty place on his own. 

He looked around, feeling a sudden nervousness rushing through his body when he remembered that all of this did actually belong to him now. While his grandmother was still pulling the strings backstage, handling the bureaucracy and most of the management, she had transferred everything associated with the café to Danny starting from the first day of January this year. They had talked about it beforehand, but now that it had actually happened, some parts of the slightly nostalgic but comfortable location felt new to him. 

Even though he had grown up around the place, started to help out at an early age, came back to work right after his training and spent a whole month with his grandma renovating everything the year before, parts of it felt suddenly fresh again. He smiled. It was surreal, and even though it came with the bitter taste of knowledge that at some point in the future his Gran would not be his backup anymore, he still knew that with all the love she had poured into the redecoration, she would always be part of this. He was proud of what she had accomplished, starting her career around a time that wouldn't make things easy on women and hoped that somehow he'd be able to carry on that legacy. 

After locking the door behind him and walking over to the counter, Danny carefully brushed his fingertips along the wooden top. They had chosen a dark wood for most of the furniture, always combined with some elements in a lighter or contrasting colour. He loved the mixture of antique and modern elements like their Victorian chairs right next to some modern armchairs, or the elegant glass display incorporated in the solid, dark and heavy wooden counter. 

Looking over to the entrance and the big glass windows to each side, Danny smiled. He remembered how excited his grandma had been about his idea to convert the empty and unused oriels into cozy lounges for two or three more guests to get comfortable in. Whenever he had visited the café since then, he'd been cuddled up in one of those corners, book or notebook in his lap and some tea or hot chocolate right next to him. The renewed, sudden realization he'd be responsible for new decisions from now on made him laugh under his breath. Life was weird sometimes. 

After appreciating the calmness of the place for a few more minutes, Danny easily fell back into his routines. He made sure to prepare all the equipment they would need, restocked cups for drinks-to-go and made sure to check the cash register again before he headed back into the bakery to start preparing the food for today – two different cakes (as always), some different kinds of cupcakes, and a few savoury snacks.

Just as Danny finished placing the last food item inside the display he heard the door being unlocked and smiled up at his best friend and co-worker: Rob. 

If Danny was to describe Robert James Gronkowski he'd probably go for “big-ass tall puppy”. They had met three years ago at the gym and gotten closer over sports talk. When they had accidentally encountered each other at a bar a few weeks after their first meeting, they had started a conversation again, which led to drinking games, which led to serious drunk talk during which Rob had poured out his heart. Mostly he had talked about how he didn't know how to afford his academic studies, rent, or food. Since Danny had known that his Gran had been searching for a new employee anyway, he had brought in Rob two days later, figuring things out for him. 

While most people who looked at Rob would probably put working at a café past him, he was by now one of Danny's favorite colleagues to be around. Not only because they had become incredibly close over the years, but mostly because he was actually good at his job. Rob knew how to move to make his 6'6 appearance feel normal behind the counter or in the kitchen and if there was a chick-magnet around, it was him. The fact that he liked to dance to the music in the café while preparing coffee or snacks just made him a joy to watch. 

Danny kind of understood girls who only came in on the days Rob was working, gawking at him from their table. Even though the tall guy wasn't his type, he could still see – and appreciate – how nicely Rob's muscles filled out his shirts and how sparkly his eyes could get when he flirted. Mostly though, Rob's outgoing aura and utter shamelessness were the kind of features that left Danny speechless and awed compared to his own shy and reserved nature. A hyperactive, attention-loving, big-ass tall and muscular puppy was probably the most accurate description.

Still, there were only a few people around Danny would trust as much with anything the way he did with Gronk. They had kind of clicked from the beginning. Danny loved hearing about all the new things Rob learned during his sports science classes and he would never forget the night he had come out to Rob as bi. Obviously he'd been nervous beforehand but since they'd been meeting up as good friends for a while already back then it had felt like it was something he actually should've done earlier. 

He had been quick to explain it, just putting his heart out there for Rob to accept or reject it and had smiled when his friend had asked him for a timeout to think, which was supposed to last as long as it would take him to get them two fresh bottles of beer. Danny had agreed with an easy smile, but while he'd been standing alone, leaned against the wall in a corner of the bar, waiting for Rob to come back anxiety had started to build up. 

He'd been so focused on his own mind that he had not realized a stranger coming up to him at all, until said man was already invading his personal space. Danny had looked up, confused, only to be met with sleazy words on how that man had heard him talk about being gay – he wasn't, but what could you expect from someone so obviously brain-dead – and how he knew about all the ways to fuck a nice ass like his. 

Danny had been too shocked by the sheer choice of words to react. Long before he had found the courage and confidence in himself to push that man away from him verbally and physically, Rob had come back. There had been a Gronkowski-arm around Danny's shoulders in a matter of seconds, a middle finger in the face of that stranger and lips on his own, that had been surprisingly soft and shy for what they had been doing. Even though the plan had worked perfectly, the third wheel being smart enough to not start a fight with a guy like Rob and leaving the scene, it had still been surprising. 

Rob's reaction had been priceless and everything that sealed the deal of loving the guy forever for Danny. “Your lips are pretty damn soft for a guy, but I couldn't live with your damn stubble all up in my face. Even though I guess your cock would be even more irritating than some stubble...” He had grinned while offering one of the two bottles in his hand to Danny. “Anyway, whatever floats your boat, man. Just know that I'll be teasing you about checking out boys AND girls secretly from now on, since you won't open your mouth to either of them. Oh and if I ever need advice with a girl or fashion I'll be onto you.”

“You do all of that already anyway,” Danny had smiled, relieved, even though he was still flustered and awed by Rob's open-minded and relaxed character.

“I know, but I'll have more fun with it now.”

More fun was something that Danny was pretty sure Rob couldn't have. He seemed pretty much to live on the peak. 

“You are in early today,” Danny smiled at his friend who made his way through the café. 

“You'll be teasing me about that one time I overslept forever, right?” Rob answered with a sigh but reached out for his apron which was neatly stored with all the staff's uniforms in a cupboard at the side. He put his coat, hat and scarf away before easily slipping into his working garment and closing the cupboard again, hiding the inside from customer's eyes. “As if it wasn't bad enough that you are my official boss now.” The taller man grinned before turning towards Danny and pulling him into a bear hug. “So proud of you man. You'll do great.”

While Danny had felt quite comfortable before, he found himself leaning against the broad chest in front of him for longer than he usually would. His heart was twitching in his chest and somehow he found himself swallowing, feeling more insecure than he would've expected. 

That was the thing with Rob, though: he was amazing when it came to hugging and sensing people's moods, plus he lived by the motto: _Never be the first to let go in a hug. You can't know how long the other person needs it._ “Don't tell me you are actually nervous, man, you won't be doing anything different from what you usually do anyway. Being amazing at your job and shooing me around.” Rob grinned, ruffling through Danny's hair with one hand.

Danny slowly drew back at that and shook his head lightly. “Not nervous. It's just new and exciting. I will have a breakdown once my Gran retires completely, though. You can already get prepared for that!” He smirked before finally stepping aside and taking a look at the clock. It was only a few more minutes until they would open the café. 

Before Danny could say anything, Rob's voice disrupted the silence. “You made the chocolate one?! Danny, it's freaking Monday! You can't do that to me. How am I supposed to... you are not going to let me have the first slice, are you?”

The dark haired man laughed and shook his head. “Rob, you are not going to get a slice of a cake, which we need to sell so I can pay my rent and food and YOU, before the door is even open!” The taller one's shoulders slumped slightly with obvious disappointment. “You can go and get the caramel syrup from the fridge in the kitchen, though. I'll turn on the music.” Danny's voice was soft while he was gently pushing the tall figure towards the kitchen. 

Once he had taken the first step Rob sighed in defeat and made his own way towards the fridge. Right as Danny was adjusting the volume of the music, a low but happy scream came from inside the kitchen and he smiled to himself. “ _I love you Danny, you hear me?!_ ”, it took Rob seconds to jump back into the sale room. “If you had boobs to play with, I swear to God I'd marry you!”, he laughed before putting the syrup next to the coffee machine, reaching for a small fork on the way back. In his hand he had a small plate on which his very own miniature version of Danny's chocolate cake was sitting gloriously. 

Danny had specifically prepared this one for his co-worker as a New Year’s treat but mostly because he loved making other people happy and he knew how deeply in love Rob was with chocolate, especially in this form. “Keep your proposals to yourself. As long as there’s no diamond ring in front of me, you won't get a piece of this.” Danny gave it a small pose before he laughed and leaned against the counter. 

“You know, even though I just declared my love for you and this cake is basically making love to my taste buds...” The playful tone of Rob's voice and the smug grin on his lips made Danny feel immediately less confident. “I also found something else in the fridge.”, There was another grin while the taller man took a bite of the cake. 

Danny's mind was racing, trying to figure out what his friend might have found in there that would put such a smug expression onto his face. Suddenly realization dawned on him, but there was no freaking way,... especially if there had been the cake there for Rob to look at.... 

“So, are you finally going to say a third sentence to _Julian_ today?” While Rob held up a bottle of almond milk with the widest possible grin on his lips, Danny cringed.

“How could you see that thing? It's small, _so_ small, and you were supposed to be concentrated on your cake!” A helpless laugh stumbled over Danny's lips before he shook his head. “And... I have not decided on whether I'll talk to him today or not.” He was blushing now. He knew he was blushing. But what was he supposed to do? This stupid new guy around had been on his mind since the first time he came into the café about three months ago. “Maybe you'll be the one who serves him today. Maybe he won't even come in.” Danny snatched the bottle out of Rob's hand to place it in the mini fridge beneath the counter where they stored the milk they needed to refill the coffee machine.

On one hand: Bless Rob for establishing the whole “writing names on cups” thing years ago. Without it Danny was sure he wouldn't have known Julian's name until he would've walked into the café with a giggly girlfriend leaning against his strong shoulder. She would've probably chuckled playful comments against his stubbly cheek, scolding him for pinching her bum in public, or making naughty remarks on how sexy she looked in her new dress. Danny could practically hear it already, the sweet and teasing voice going, “ _Jules, stop it, we are in public!_ ”. It made him furrow his brow and suck his lower lip into his mouth. He wasn't sure how he'd react. 

It was stupid. So obviously ridiculous. He didn't even know much about Julian. Only that he came in almost every day, always ordered a Cappuccino or a Café au Lait and asked for almond milk with it, which Danny had never been able to provide. He wasn't even sure if Jules was a thing. He just at some point had started calling the guy by a nickname whenever he was daydreaming. Pathetic didn't even cover it. Really. He was a grown up man, owner of a café, his own freaking boss as of today and still he would spend hours after work fantasizing about some _guy_. 

His head had always been creative but the wide range of things his mind could dream up about Julian constantly managed to surprise him. His imagination could go from conversations they might have – if Danny ever actually brought himself to talk properly in Julian's presence – to possible mumbled invitations for dinner at his place, amazing scenarios of catching the strong body in front of the counter of the café, pulling him into the back of the building to kiss him senseless and stunning images of heated, slightly sweaty and incredibly seductive skin. The last ones though mostly came up when Danny didn't want to think about anything at all, when he was in the middle of a shower or lazy in bed late at night with his fingers curled around his cock. He had tried to keep Julian out of his head especially during intimate moments, but whenever his mind joined his body in relaxing Jules was _right there_. 

“Hey! No daydreaming, lover boy. I'm gonna unlock the door now!” Rob's voice cut into Danny's thoughts and brought him back to the here and now.  
On the other hand: Damn Rob for always catching up on his thinking and feelings far too fast.


	2. Almond Milk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pats will be playing tomorrow and I absolutely can't wait for the game! But just to make sure nobody is getting bored tonight by the lack of pretty boys around: Here you go!
> 
> Quick info guide: **One:** I will try my best to stick to a weekly schedule. Which would make new chapters go up around Saturday each week.  
>  **Two:** This fic will get longer than I anticpated because my beloved [SubwayWolf](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SubwayWolf/pseuds/SubwayWolf) will not only beta my stuff but also help me with a good bit of work! I can't be grateful enough and I'm so incredibly excited about working together on this. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter: Have fun reading!

The start of the day had been easy on Danny and Rob. Besides the usual rush hour with people coming in to get their morning coffee and breakfast, it seemed to be one of the calm days. Danny had expected it, mostly because there were a lot of people around who were still on holidays for the week. 

Danny was rearranging the cupcakes in the display when Rob gently nudged his hand into his side. Confused, the dark-haired man looked up and felt his breath catching in his chest. So their discussion earlier about the fact that Julian hadn't come in during the rush hour which probably meant that he wasn't coming in at all, had been nonsense. Danny felt stupid again, but mostly he hate-loved Rob. 

Danny swallowed slightly, trying his best to act normal while giving Julian a soft smile as he came up to the counter. “Good morning.” His voice was slightly off, but alright. “What can I get you today?” Well, the trembling was ridiculous now. 

Julian smiled back at him, throwing a short glance at the menu and the display before looking directly at Danny again. His eyes were beautiful. Baby blue, no - more like the forceful, bright and powerful blue of a glacier. “I'll go with the Cappuccino today, and can I get one of those?”, Julian pointed towards the chocolate cake through the display. 

Danny immediately nodded even though his heart started racing. He swallowed again, and leaned a bit against the counter just to make sure that his knees wouldn't give in to their preposterous wobbling. Usually Jules would ask for the almond milk now. Usually he'd be all sweet and sorry about it, and Danny had planned out this moment so many times in his head that he felt like an actor waiting for his cue. 

Nothing happened. After what might have been fifteen seconds, Julian slightly tilted his head, watching Danny curiously. 

It was the confused gleam in the other man's eyes that forced Danny to wake up and suddenly feel extremely uncomfortable. Things not working out as planned made him nervous and as of right now... letting Julian wait - what was he doing?! Quickly, Danny smiled and nodded. “Sure thing, you want the cake and drink to go?” His voice sounded far more relaxed than he was. His heart was harshly trying to beat out of his chest by now and for a moment he wondered if there had ever actually been an occasion of a heart fleeing its home. Trying to push away the ridiculous thoughts and mostly the panic flooding his head and veins, Danny reached for a box to quickly place the slice of cake inside, after Julian had agreed to his take-out suggestion. “Can I get you cream or sugar in your drink?” He looked up with another careful smile and was so focused on not embarrassing himself any further that he didn't even see Rob making his way over to them. 

“No, thank you. Don't want to stretch my holiday diet too much.” Julian's voice sounded playful now and Danny couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from twitching upwards. 

As he placed the cake-box on top of the counter, an arm wrapped around his shoulders before he could move to prepare the ordered drink. With obvious confusion Danny turned his head to look at Rob, who was grinning smugly at Julian. His eyes showcased the kind of gleam that Danny could decipher easily: Rob was definitely about to do something stupid. 

“Hi, Julian, nice to see you again, man. Happy New Year!” So far so good. Rob was just an open-minded, nice person. It was perfectly fine to greet a regular customer, even though it made Danny look slightly stupid considering the fact that he hadn't dared to do a thing as easy as that. Rob's grin widened, though. “You didn't ask about your almond milk today.” Well, then.

Torn between annoyance and a hint of gratitude – that he would never admit – Danny shoved his co-worker off of himself, creating space between them. Soft chuckles still reached his ears, but he did his best to just ignore them for now. Instead, he was throwing a careful glance at Julian, whose face had lit up at Rob's words. 

“You’re right. I just completely forgot, since I don't want to seem pathetic asking you guys for it every day.” Easily, Julian focused back on Danny. “So is there any chance I could get my order with almond milk, today?” 

The truly gentle smile on the blond man's lips made Danny's skin shiver and his knees go weak again. He swallowed lightly, tried to remember all the cool and witty comments he had made up in his mind during rehearsing this scenario but nothing wanted to come back to him. Instead, he smiled, nodded and for a second bend down to catch the bottle out of the fridge. As he got up, he made sure to show the bottle to his Julian first, feeling heat high up on his cheeks. “I hope this is the right kind. I was slightly overwhelmed once I got to the cabinet and... I just took the one that looked the best.”

For a second, Julian fell quiet. He quickly moved his eyes from the bottle up to Danny's face again before he shook his head slightly. “This is literally the perfect one,” he finally mumbled, sounding a hint less confident than he had before. “Amazing, I hope it works well with the coffee!” 

Danny smiled, feeling a rush of joy speeding through his body. Quickly he turned towards the coffee machine, hiding his face and preparing Jules' order with skilled fingers. To his relief it seemed like almond milk worked just fine with their equipment and it didn't take long to turn around again, placing a lid on Julian's cup. 

The drink went onto the counter right next to the cake before Danny moved over to the register, taking the bill Julian was offering him. Part of him really wanted to say something else. Something clever or charming if possible, but as it had before, his brain remained silent. He bit his lip, while collecting the change, when Rob's voice disrupted the now insecure quietness between them. 

“Oh Jules, another thing.” Gronk was leaning against the counter, looking up and down the smaller man's body. “You look like you are buff as hell, man, definitely trained, but I've never seen you at the gym Danny and I visit. I was just wondering if you are sneaking in at night or if you just didn't know there was an actually cool place around.” He sounded nonchalant and Danny wished he could feel that way for a bit, just so he could be part of a normal conversation. 

Jules grinned slightly and shrugged his shoulders. “I did know there was a place around, but I've been kinda busy with the whole moving thing and getting accustomed to the city and my new workplace. And I always saw groups of people going inside together, so I was worried they might only do courses, and I didn't get around to check if I can do my own routine there. So I've been mostly working out at home.” 

Rob bristled a laugh. “Man, you gotta go check out the place. It's amazing, really, since they reworked it two years ago. It's all fancy and I swear to god those showers... those alone would persuade me if I wasn't in love with sports as much as I am anyway.” 

“Yeah, I kinda figured your addiction by looking at you.” Jules grinned again, playful but nice, and reached out to throw the change Danny had placed onto the counter back into his wallet. 

Rob's voice disrupted the silence again. “Listen, are you free like tomorrow evening or something? On Tuesdays, the place is really not that packed, so it would be good timing to check it out.” Rob grinned and Danny froze on the spot. 

“Sounds good to me.” Julian actually looked happy about the idea and nodded. 

“Amazing, I've got classes till like... _late_ , man. I tell ya, that whole sports science thing... the whole college doesn't know how to read a clock. Stuff is always like 8am or 8pm, and in between it's just a big pile of nothing. But Tuesday is one of Danny's gym days, so maybe you guys could catch up. It _would_ make you a small group of people going inside together.”, Rob grinned even wider now. “Plus, I think if you come in with Danny, no staff is gonna bother you. You just have to, like, talk to them about a membership if you wanna join us regularly.”

Danny was sweating. And he had never been more grateful for the apron he was wearing because it's dark chocolate colour made sure that there was no way anyone could SEE him sweat. His heart was making uneasy but excited jumps and for a second he thought about how high the risk of a heart attack could get if one was exposed to this amount of adrenaline. 

Julian was truly beaming now though. He nodded again, looking over to Danny with happy eyes and a smile on his face that made the dark-haired man want to put it there every day for the rest of their lives. “Danny, I don't wanna push myself into your routines, but I'd be glad to join you and get a tour around the gym.” Jules' voice was soft and friendly.

Danny relaxed slowly, grateful to the way a normal conversation didn't seem completely out of range if Jules kept talking that sweetly to him. “I'd be happy to show you around.” He smiled carefully and tried his best not to look at Rob. “Want me to pick you up somewhere after I'm done with work, or you just wanna meet up on the parking lot?” 

“I'll be in my car anyway, I guess, but I can't really tell yet. Let's just exchange numbers, I'll text you when I know about how my day works out and we can talk about time and place then?” 

Completely caught up in the situation, Danny nodded; in no version of this story did he have the mind to freak out now. Instead, he pulled out his phone, offering it to Jules with a smile, so he could put his number in. “Call me just to make sure it worked.” 

Julian grinned afterwards and held up his own phone with a satisfied smile when it started ringing. “Alright, got you. Contact is…” he quickly swiped the display a few times, “…saved.” The blond one looked up with a smile again, catching Danny's gaze. “Perfect. I'll text you tomorrow!” 

“I'll have my phone at hand.” 

They smiled at each other one more time before Jules took his drink and cake and waved to Rob and Danny in a quick motion as he left the café. 

Danny could feel Rob's grin without even looking at him. “If I'm not just the best fucking wingman on this planet, I'll never eat another slice of chocolate cake.” He laughed before passing Danny as he walked towards the kitchen. 

A gentle ruffle through dark hair was what made the smaller one bristle a bit, but still part of him had to agree. “I don't think he wants the same thing out of this as I do, Rob. But I do have to admit that at least you got me the chance to watch him work out. Just... in case I have a heart attack tomorrow, though, your sorry ass better be ready to visit me in the hospital.” 

Rob laughed again and shook his head. “Oh, please. You two have been doing all sorts of love eyes at each other for weeks. I'd bet on you and him being all tongue-tangled in less than a week, but I really don't do unfair gambling.” Rob looked at Danny over his shoulder with a grin. “Also, you better get used to watching him, if you wanna get a chance to enjoy the whole sex thing. Fainting is kind of bummer in bed.” He laughed again, louder when Danny offered him his middle finger, but vanished into the kitchen then. 

Danny went home that evening with a weird mixture of anticipation and excitement in his tummy. Part of him was convinced he should be panicking, but weirdly he felt more calm about the idea of him meeting Julian tomorrow evening than he had felt about offering him the almond milk. At some point, he should probably make Rob a cake for crossing the border between customer and something that could soon resemble a friendship for him. On the other hand, he didn't know the outcome of it all yet. 

The lone thought of Julian being interested in him made his skin prickle and his heart flutter. He had been convinced that the other one was straight but Rob's words had not left his head since he said them. Maybe that one smile today, right as Danny had presented Julian the bottle of almond milk... maybe that one had been a bit too fond for being just something a customer would do. He didn't know. 

Sometimes Danny wished there was an easy way to see if somebody was interested. While he usually liked the thrill of not knowing what people thought, he had to admit that crushing on a man while unable to determine his sexuality made him feel helpless. 

On this path to possibly gaining a new friend - an incredibly attractive new friend - a reasonable part of his mind wanted to be careful. He couldn't imagine Julian as one of those narrow-minded people, hating on others with different sexualities. But he definitely didn't want him to feel uncomfortable in case he was straight and had never been in a locker room or shower with an openly bisexual guy. Still, it was part of Danny's personality, and if Julian was against all odds narrow-minded enough to turn away from him for his preferences, then he probably wasn't worth the trouble. 

Danny swallowed. Sometimes dreaming up worst-case scenarios could help you prepare for them, but they were never fun. His heart twitched in his chest, not at all comfortable with the idea of being rejected. After spending so much time dreaming up impossibly sweet scenarios, it hurt to actually consider being pushed away, especially since if it happened it would probably also mean Julian not returning to the café anymore. 

He bit his lip and swallowed again, trying to push away the bad feelings. With a lost sigh he shook his head, leaning his head against the steering wheel while he waited for a red light to turn green. The way things were going right now, he could at least see and admire Julian from afar regularly. 

Danny hadn't been in this situation for a while. The last time he had actually feared true rejection had been when he had decided to come out to his family. Even though his dad needed a few minutes and explanations before comprehending what was going on, they had been amazing. His mum was just chuckling and shaking her head with something like “Oh baby, don't look so scared. I kinda knew since you decided to take down your brother's posters because you felt like they were not representing a 'nice view on women'.”. 

That had been years ago. Now for the first time in a long time, it felt like it actually mattered again. Chatting up someone at a club was easy, since it was never devastating if they told you that they weren't interested. No matter if you tried talking to a guy or a girl, it never hurt. The thought of Julian looking at him in disgust hurt. With trembling fingers, Danny tried to grip the wheel a bit harder, making sure to concentrate on the road. Driving against a wall wouldn't help him with Julian, either. 

Rob's words came back to his head as he neared the street he was living in and a smile slowly crept back onto his features. It was just as possible that he and Julian would be fine. If Rob was right, maybe even more than that. 

The butterflies were back in seconds and Danny chuckled into his beard when he pulled up into the driveway. He was worrying too much. Considering everything, tomorrow would probably be an amazing day and he couldn't wait to get to know Jules better, even if it all could end up in him having a crush on a friend. He wouldn't be the first person to long for someone out-of-reach. No matter if he would keep the whole thing to himself or at some point offer Julian the truth, the most important thing was that the other man would accept him, and that they had a proper shot at building a friendship. And if that meant Danny would be the one holding Jules through emotional break-ups from girlfriends who didn't properly appreciate him, he would still be able to kiss his head and caress his hair. He would get used to it. And at some point it would be enough.


	3. Pink Lady Apple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go with chapter 3 my lovelies :) 
> 
> Hope everybody has fun reading... also this could be called "a whole chapter of me and Danny gushing over Julian Edelman" but there is a hint more plot to it than that, I promise ;D

Danny was leaning against the railing that seamed the stairs going up to the front door of the gym. His bag was placed on the ground right next to him, beanie tightly pulled over his head to keep him protected from the cold wind rushing over the parking lot. It was still sunny, but sunny didn't mean anything to the average temperature during winter around Foxborough. He nibbled his lips, occasionally throwing a glance at his phone, before burying his hand back into the pocket of his jacket. He had arrived early mostly because his co-worker Zack got so fed up with his nervousness that he sent him off half an hour before he usually would've been done for the day. It didn't really feel all boss-like to follow the orders of your employee, but Zack was ridiculously taller than Danny and could get damn convincing. Especially when he had threatened to call Rob and force him to come over earlier – which would've turned the situation into a two giants against one dwarf thing – Danny had not wanted to risk it. 

Another glance at his phone told him that it was about time for Jules to appear and Danny was glad the rapid beating of his heart had at least one pleasant side-effect: It was keeping him warm. When he looked up again a blue Chevy was taking a turn onto the parking lot. It looked like an S-10 from afar but Danny couldn't tell for sure. He did recognize the man driving the car though and smiled. Julian had actually showed up. Not that Danny had expected to be stood up, but one never knew, right? 

Carefully, Danny moved away from the railing, trying his best to not start playing with the fabric of his jacket or rubbing his beard. He really didn't want to come off as a nervous teenager on his first date, especially since this wasn't supposed to be a date.

It took Julian a minute to find a parking spot, jump out of the car, and grab his bag from the front seat before he started strolling over to the entrance. Julian's appearance was utterly and unfairly beautiful. Well-fitting sweatpants were loosely hugging what Danny could only imagine as strong and muscular legs, a quite expensive looking jacket was protecting Jules' sides from the cold while giving an open view to his hoodie, since Julian hadn't closed the zipper. 

Danny's teeth bored into his own lower lip while he tried to remain his composure. How could anyone get aroused by a guy in a hoodie and sweatpants? Danny was fed up with himself. Still, he smiled when Jules arrived in front of him with a broad grin on his lips.

Julian’s eyes looked concerned while he gave Danny a quick once-over. “Hey, I hope I'm not late, you look cold. Have you been waiting long?”

“No, you’re good. I was ten minutes early and didn't want to wait inside in case you'd wonder where I am,” Danny answered before lifting up his bag from the ground, mentally screaming at himself. Why did he say these things? Why even think them? He sounded like he would put it past Julian to walk into a gym on his own. “Anyway”, he quickly tried to bypass the helplessness paralyzing his mind, “Let's get inside and I'll show you around.” 

A soft nod was Julian's answer as he shouldered his own bag. Whatever he was thinking about Danny, he was polite enough to keep it to himself. 

Once inside, Danny took a relieving breath of warm air and looked around. He really liked the place. It was not huge, contrasting to other gyms, but it was extremely beautiful in exchange. The glass front made a great light source, the parquet floor exuded warmth, and Danny had always admired the way the employees managed to keep the plants as healthy as they were and at the same time everything else clean and in order. The area had a second floor balcony overlooking the main lobby and used a great number of mirrors to make up for the small amount of square footage. Danny had never liked huge and crowded gyms where you had to fear accidentally touching the person on the treadmill next to you. He preferred to have less equipment, a smaller amount of members, a slightly higher membership fee but more personal space. 

As Danny looked over to Julian, who was obviously caught up in getting a first impression of the room, he took another calming breath. Too beautiful. 

“Seems pretty nice so far.” Jules' voice sounded curious and content while Danny nodded.

“Wait 'til you see the showers Rob was gushing about yesterday.” Jules' face seemed to light up at the thought of a shower and Danny wondered what type of shower person the other one was. Would he prefer warm or cold water? Was he one of those people who liked to relax beneath the water jet? Maybe he would let his head fall forward and enjoy hot water massaging his shoulders, or lean back, baring his throat and chest to the heat, shivering at gentle drops caressing down his... 

With a mental slap to his own face, Danny yanked himself back into reality and started walking into the direction of the locker room. Jules followed easily until another voice caught their attention. 

“Oh, Danny, you're here with somebody else than Rob. Does he know?” There was chuckle in Emily's voice and Danny just smiled and rolled his eyes softly. The girl with chocolate-coloured skin standing behind the reception counter had been working here for as long as Danny could remember and about a year back, they even almost had had a fling. 

“Yeah, Jules just moved here and I wanted to show him around the place. He's searching for a new gym.” 

She nodded immediately and turned her eyes to look at Danny's company more intensively. “If you need anything, just call for me. I'm Emily, but pretty boys like you can call me Em.” Her wild curly hair slightly jumped when she chuckled sweetly. “We've got drinks, shakes, snacks and whatever else you might need,” she added before winking at Julian. 

Danny could understand her. Really. The need to admire and flirt with Julian – he understood. Nevertheless, he tensed slightly and felt his grip on his bag tighten remarkably. He loved Em, she was amazingly sweet. But she was also dancing around in a territory that Danny felt like belonged to him. 

Julian laughed relaxed and winked back at the young woman with a teasing smile. “I'll keep it in mind, Em.” He turned back to Danny then who got his cue, waved at Emily and started moving again. 

They left the main area and turned into a small hallway leading to the locker rooms, showers, sauna, and the massage and physical therapy practise which worked independent from the gym but acted as a nice bonus for members of it as well. 

Julian softly bumped his hand against Danny's shoulder. “So. ‘Jules’, hm?” He grinned playfully, laughing when Danny almost stopped. 

“God, I'm so sorry.” Danny's face was burning. When he opened the door to the locker room he had rarely ever felt as relieved at nobody else being already in there as he was now. “I just... that... just kinda-” 

“Don't worry about it.” Julian easily disrupted Danny’s pitiful attempt at stuttering out an explanation. “I like it when you say it. Sounds nice.” He went over to one of the open lockers then and put down his bag on the bench. 

Danny followed him, slightly shaking his head at himself while he put his stuff down as well and started undressing. “I'm glad you do. I just worried you would think it was offensive or something, which it really wasn't supposed to be.” Two complete sentences. Danny was proud of himself. 

“Nah, don't worry. I was just surprised that I already earned myself a nickname.” ‘Already’ was relative, Danny thought. Considering the various hours they spent together in Danny's head, a nickname was really the most normal thing to come out of it. 

They both got rid of their clothes then, changing into what they would wear for practise. Danny made sure not to look into Julian's direction. He had a feeling that Jules in training clothes would already play all sorts of pranks on his mind, so he really didn't want to risk getting a glimpse at him shirtless. 

When he was ready, Danny picked up his bottle of water and headphones. “All the equipment is in the hall we just came from,” he explained as he turned around to face Julian, who was fortunately dressed by now. “The space upstairs is for anything you want to do with weights. They've got mirrors all along the walls, benches for lifting, barbells and dumbbells in all variations, basically. There’s a sauna down the hallway we just used and the entrance to a PT practise.” Danny reached to get a small towel out of his bag before closing his locker. “I'll be around if you need anything, and I can spot you if you want to lift.”

Before Danny could properly process what was happening, Jules was standing close and a surprisingly gentle hand was placed on his shoulder. “Thank you, Danny.” Julian sounded serious but his voice was thick and sweet like honey, his eyes holding Danny hostage for a while. 

Both men drew back at the same time a few moments later and for the first time Danny felt like he could properly smile without blushing. “You're welcome.” His voice didn't tremble or shiver. Julian's closeness was soothing a primal need inside his body.

When the locker room door was pushed open by two other men, who were laughing loudly at something, Julian winked at Danny before turning away. 

One and a half hours into training, Danny felt amazing. He loved the way his body got all hyped up on sports easily, how he could feel his veins expanding at the added intensity of every movement. Small beads of sweat were running along his temple as he fought through his repetitions on the butterfly machine. His muscles strained but his determination had always been his strong suit. Once he won over the last move, he carefully released his grip on the machine and stood up, stretching and loosening his arms, shoulders, and chest by lightly agitating every tensed fiber. 

His gaze searched for Julian and stopped once he found the other man. Their time in here had been great so far, both of them following their own routines, but once in a while high-fiving if they passed each other. Still, watching Julian walk up to the chin-up bar made Danny shiver. He really hadn't planned on spending his time staring, but the way Jules jumped up to catch the bar with ease before lifting himself up with graceful strength was mesmerizing. 

Danny swallowed and part of his brain desperately prayed for a higher power to just make the damn shirt disappear. However, his fantasy did a great job at filling in all the details the fabric was hiding and since Jules had chosen a white top to wear, at least the shoulder part was almost see-through by now. Every slow move upwards made seductive outlines become apparent and Danny's grip on his water bottle tensed. If he could only go up there and lick along the delicate dip between Julian's back muscles enclosing his spine. He'd draw patterns of dedication into every single vortex, suck soft red spots into salty skin, cup the perfect cheeks with strong fingers and knead into firm flesh. 

When his knees threatened to go weak and the heat crawling through his skin grew at high speed, Danny finally got back to the here-and-now. He was blinking, immediately drawing his gaze away, turning just to make sure. Running would be a good idea now. Running was what he could do without using his head at all. He'd put on music, focus on any point in the distance and move. 

On his way over to the treadmills, though, Jules' voice calling for him made him stop. He turned just to see the object of his desire jogging over to him. “Hey, you up for some bench pressing? I'd join you in running down afterwards.” Julian's smile was wide. He obviously felt high on the same cocktail of blissful hormones that also bounced around in Danny's veins. It was almost too cute to bear. 

“Sure,” Danny agreed, as relaxed as possible before both of them made their way up the stairs. 

When they stumbled back into the locker room about another half an hour later, they were both grinning lightheartedly and chuckling about a stupid picture hanging on the wall in the hallway. It probably should display an apple but it did look like a _vagina_ to any normal human. 

“Maybe it's a Pink Lady apple,” Jules grinned brightly and Danny laughed as he softly shoved the other one away. 

“Let's just head to the shower, Jules. I don't think either one of us has an actual understanding of art.” 

“But I do. Art is just differentiating between things you like and things you don't like. And I definitely don't like fruit-vaginas!” 

The protest sounded so serious that Danny started laughing again. “Shut up about it now! I wanna enjoy my post-workout bliss and not have that thing follow me into the showers.” 

They kept up the playful banter as they made their way into the shower area, not leaving Danny with time to get fully aware of how they were undressing. He took his shower gel in hand before finding a spot to use and sighed as the hot water started running immediately. 

He loved these showers. Rob had every right to gush about them. The floor was all shiny black tiles with little spots that made them look like they were glistening, the walls though were covered in coloured tiny mosaic tiles that gave the impression of a colour gradient starting at a strong magenta stretching over a rich purple and ending in a deep sea dark blue. It was beautiful, and the modern armatures plus the starry sky lights just fitted the whole concept perfectly. It wasn't obtrusively bright in here, more like a gentle, complimenting warm light that would make you able to see properly but still keep a feeling of privacy even if you shared the shower with other men. 

Danny bit his lip to keep himself from sighing deeply again, while he slowly, gently rolled his neck into the hardness of the water. As soon as he felt his shoulders relax, he reached out to change the jet of water to a softer pressure, making it caress along pumped-up muscles. When the water stopped, he reached for his shampoo first, keeping his eyes closed for the most part of massaging it into the scalp. Soaping up the rest of his body didn't take long and Danny immediately relaxed again when the warm water was back on his skin. 

He turned so he could tip back his head, getting the foam out of his hair at a better angle but hurried since he had never liked standing with his head leaned back and eyes closed without support. It messed with his balance. Once Danny could straighten his neck he immediately pushed the water out of his eyes to open them and felt the world set itself back to the right angle. 

The water was still raining down on him and his hands were busy rubbing away the last bits of foam but he kept his face out of the jet. As he lifted his gaze from the ground he wasn't even aware of how he was absentmindedly brushing his view along Julian's feet, his calves and thighs until his eyes met the soft part of skin where thigh meets bum. Danny's mind seemed to stir awake from drowsy relaxation at that and heat shot up into his cheeks, before spreading quickly through his body. He was being invasive and he was completely aware of it but he couldn't avert his eyes. 

Julian's backside was perfect. Danny couldn't remember ever seeing a bum looking that nice, firm and delicious. He swallowed remembering how he had wanted to dig his nails into the flesh earlier already and almost laughed at how he still undervalued how the naked skin actually looked like. Looking up, Danny could trace every muscle gracing the other man's back. Jules was pure graceful strength. Whatever his job was, he either needed to be this fit or had been working out constantly as a compensation. Danny wanted to worship every inch of his skin. 

As his imagination sparked the idea of Julian turning around though, Danny turned away, feeling flustered. Even if his fantasy probably had wanted to concentrate on how this moment could develop into heat and desire, the pure fear of getting caught had hit him hard enough to cool down any rushing blood and stop dreamed-up scenarios. 

It took him just another minute before he hurried to leave his spot under the shower, making sure not to graze another look at Julian again. He quickly reached for his towel, drying himself before wrapping the fabric around his hips. Deep and calming breaths were the only thing that kept him from doing anything stupid.

Jules walked out of the shower as well and grinned at him easily, while reaching for his towel. “Neither you nor Rob were joking; that shower actually is amazing.”

They didn't talk much after that, Danny trying to ban naked Jules from his mind while they were both getting dressed again and ready to face the cold. 

Once they were back to the stairs outside, Danny stopped for a second, looking at Jules curiously. “So, you think you might wanna come back here again?” He tried his best to sound nonchalant but he was truly tensed. 

“I guess so. If you and Rob wouldn't mind me joining?” 

Danny chuckled and shook his head. “No, not at all. Some other employees come to this place as well, so you might recognize more people than you think.” 

Julian's grin seemed truly glad, but he still looked at the ground before catching Danny's gaze again. “Thank you for showing me around. And... just so you know, I'm kind of a connoisseur when it comes to smoothies. Like, I am really into burgers, but smoothies are kind of my thing, and I'm really into it, and have all these amazing ingredients at home, like Fijian cut ice and stuff so, if you would like to come over and get the smoothie of your life, I'd totally love to do that. I felt actually really flattered about the milk thing, and I like you-… and Rob, so… if you'd be up for it. Maybe after another workout, when it isn't quite as late.”

The way confidence and careful question were threaded together in those few sentences made Danny shiver, but he nodded anyway. It almost felt like his subconscious had made the decision long before his brain actually understood the words coming in. With an easy smile he bounced his bag on his shoulder to place it more properly before he answered, “Sure. I mean, you've got my number now. Just hit me up and we'll figure things out.”


	4. Warmed Up Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it is _not_ Saturday yet but since it's SUPER BOWL WEEKEND BABY I guess a lot of you (and me) will be travelling or preparing stuff for Sunday which is why I had to agree with SubwayWolf that it makes sense to post the chapter a hint earlier than usual :D
> 
> Extremely important notice: I already announced that SubwayWolf would not only help me beta my stuff but also tackle some of the workload and here you go! Even though we worked together on planning out the characters and details, this chapter is all his writing and I just adored every second of it! Finally we get some inside view on how Jules feels and _finally_ Tom makes his appearance ;)
> 
> Thank you babe for writing this and being genuinely amazing: I love you.
> 
> Now everybody have fun reading ~~( & properly shower my pumpkin with compliments ;))~~ :)

The morning sky was pouring down a gross mix of rain and sleet when Julian drove to get his coffee the next day. Though he wouldn’t admit it, he had been thinking about Danny and had been excited to visit him since he woke up. When he pulled in, the parking lot was virtually empty but Julian parked a bit far from the entrance to try and not seem too eager to get inside, in case anyone was paying attention.

It was really important to him that he keep his cool in front of Danny, who he was seriously starting to develop a thing for. He felt like his crush resembled one a middle schooler might have, so he tried to keep his giddy emotions trapped inside and maintain his cool, because if he was reading the situation correctly, Danny liked that sort of thing.

Julian knew how these romantic flings worked, so he tried not to look too deeply into the afternoon they’d spent together at the gym. It was possible that Danny was just a nice guy trying to show him around, but Julian couldn’t help but think there was something more that Danny wanted. At the same time, Julian was protective of his own heart and didn’t often let himself read into clues that weren’t really there, but with Danny being as warm-hearted and endearing as he was, it was hard not to.

As he walked along the sidewalk, Jules peered into the window. There was no one in the café when he arrived. He hoped it wasn’t too obvious that he had memorized the shop’s hours and purposefully came early so he’d be able to talk to Danny one-on-one. He picked up his pace to get out of the rain quicker, and to see Danny faster.

When he walked inside the shop, he was greeted by the familiar sound of the little door bell ringing, but he didn’t see anyone at the counter. He hoped he didn’t catch Danny on one of his days off, but then figured Danny probably didn’t ever take a day off.

He spotted Rob for a second, but when Rob caught his gaze, he bolted off into the back room quickly and just as fast, out came Danny, brushing off some flour from his apron. “Hey, Jules, good morning. You usually don’t come here this early,” he said in a cheery voice as he approached.

Julian raised an eyebrow at him as they met halfway at the countertop. “What, have you memorized my schedule?” This was more to tease him than to torment him, but it probably did both the same.

Danny’s cheeks started to flush pink. It was one of the most loveable things about him, in Julian’s opinion. He managed to recover nicely, though. “Apparently not, but I _think_ I’ve memorized your order. Do you want the usual drink this morning?”

This made Julian smile, and instantly Danny looked down at his own feet to try and avoid eye contact and not blush any harder. Julian decided to give him a break. “Yeah, I’ll take the usual. Does that mean it’s the usual price, too?”

Danny was still smiling as he punched Julian’s order into the screen in front of him. “Yeah,” he chuckled, “Sorry.” He stepped back, grabbed an empty cup, and started to make the drink with hands that Julian could have sworn were slightly trembling. “Only employees and family members get discounts. And we’re not hiring right now.”

Gronk was stocking up the display case full of fresh pastries when he chimed in, “Looks like your only hope is to marry into the business.” Julian was so focused on Danny that he had hardly noticed the guy, which was weird, since he was six and a half feet tall. “And whoa, wait...” he looked over to Danny with a suspicious smile on his face, “ _I_ work here and you don’t give me the discount. Are you scamming me, Danny? Just because I’m big and strong doesn’t mean I’m dumb.” He tried fake pouting for emphasis, but his grin was just too huge.

Danny turned around to smile at his co-worker, and when they made eye contact, Gronk responded by flexing his muscles and showing off. Danny turned back around, laughing lightly. “Sure, Rob. Keep telling yourself that.”

Rob scoffed and held his hands out, looking to Jules for backup, but Julian joined in at laughing at him. Rob decided to let the conversation end there, because he wasn’t going to win, and instead changed the subject. “So, Julian, was the gym as awesome as I promised it would be? I mean, I know the answer, but just tell me I was right anyway.”

Julian nodded as he got his wallet out of his back pocket and fished around for his debit card. “It was really awesome,” he agreed. “Membership’s a bit pricey, but it’s definitely worth it.” He held his card out to be swiped.

Gronk stepped over to the register and rang Julian up, pressing a few buttons and then swiping the card to charge him. “And those showers, am I right? They’re freakin’ heavenly.”

Julian’s eyes trailed off as he started to dreamily think about how Danny looked with the gym-issued, too-small towel wrapped around his waist. “Yeah, they were pretty great…” When the familiar scent of his coffee filled his nose, he snapped back to reality. “The equipment was nice, too. I can’t wait to hit the place again.”

Rob seemed especially pleased with himself that he had been right in his prediction that Julian would like the gym. He handed Julian’s card back to him and went back to tending to the pastry shelves. “Well, go ahead and text us if you want to tag along next time, or we can all just meet up at the place. We can add you to the “flex squad” group chat.” Julian looked over at Danny just in time to catch him rolling his eyes. Gronk continued, “Since you’re so interested in knowing our schedule, Danny and I usually go in early on weekends.”

The suggestive gaze that Rob was giving him made Julian’s heart rate quicken. He felt like he was being caught on to. “Yeah, maybe,” he said, trying to stay cool. “I mean, I’m really busy, but I can try and fit some time in.” God, what an asshole thing to say. Julian internally scolded himself for acting like something he really cared about wasn’t that important.

As Danny was placing the lid on Julian’s coffee and putting a sleeve on it for safe handling, Gronk had a look on his face like he was about to make a stupid joke - though, to be fair, he had that look often. “Well, I hope you do,” he started. “Danny loves to work out and make himself look nice and strong for pretty boys at the coffee shop. Right, Danny?”

Danny’s blushing face practically went ghost white. “Rob…” he warned in a low voice, glaring up at the much taller man.

Before Julian could even grin at the not-so-subtle confirmation of Danny’s sexuality, Gronk threw his arm around Danny’s shoulder and pulled him close. “Pretty boys like _me_ , of course. Who else would I be talking about?” Gronk was beaming, and Danny looked like he was about to strangle him. “Obviously I’m the one and only object of your affections. I am the only person good enough for Princess Danny’s high standards.”

As realization started to sweep over Julian’s features, an aching tightness in his stomach followed soon after. Danny and Rob… were a couple? God damn it. Julian felt the smile on his face start to drop, but he plastered a fake one on top of it for as long as he could muster; it was difficult.

Danny was practically baring teeth. His cheeks were turning hot again. “Please shut up.” He was obviously and rightfully annoyed from Rob outing him without his permission to Julian, who was practically a stranger.

Gronk was laughing nervously. He removed his arm from Danny’s shoulders and stepped back, holding his hands up defensively. “Whoa, Danny. We shouldn’t fight over our marital problems in front of the guests! It’s bad for business.”

With the pissed off look in Danny’s narrowed eyes, it looked like he was ready to jump up and attack Rob. Julian was almost in fear for Gronk’s safety. “I’m going to kill you,” Danny sighed, annoyed.

Julian was standing there like an idiot now. His stomach was seriously starting to hurt - from what? Jealousy? Probably, but he tried not to think about it. Somehow he managed to keep his cool even though he felt like breaking something. “Aw, don’t kill him, Danny,” he said through his fake grin. “That would be even _worse_ for business. Not to mention the mess some poor janitor will probably have to clean up.” Thankfully this managed to get a laugh out of Gronk, and when Danny looked at Julian, his expression seemed to soften. “I’m going to hit the road. I’ll see you guys later.”

When Julian grabbed his coffee and made his way towards the door, Gronk called out after him, “Alright, man, stay dry!” before returning to his duties.

Every step was agony, waiting for Danny to say goodbye, and Julian wanted to hear his voice one last time today. But Danny didn’t say anything at all.

* * *

The sloppy winter rain suddenly seemed much more apt to fit Julian’s mood. He tugged up his hood with one hand while keeping the other warm by holding his coffee. His car seemed to be parked further away than he remembered, but he walked through the rain towards it without complaining.

He felt like a complete idiot. How could he not have seen it the first two dozen times he’d walked into the shop? Of course Danny and Rob were dating - it was so, glaringly obvious. The way Gronk was always near him, the flirtatious jokes he would make, the big smile on his face whenever he put his arm around Danny. Not to mention, Emily at the gym specifically mentioned that Gronk was always with Danny, and her expression had been pretty suggestive. It all added up. Julian wanted to kick himself for not realizing beforehand.

Julian got into his car, shut the door, took down his hood, and just sat there for a long moment. The rain was muffled but loud as it poured heavily down on his windshield and roof, and he tried to separate the silence from the weather.

Some childish part of him had really thought that their trip to the gym was an actual date. What a joke. It couldn’t have been anything more than Danny being a nice guy and showing him around, and Julian started to feel guilty. He really hoped he hadn’t been leading Danny on during their time out together or trying to get in between the two of them. If he had been acting that way, he wasn’t doing it on purpose, and - shit, no wonder Gronk was out front with Danny at the cash register, Danny had totally told him all about what happened at the gym and Gronk was trying to make it clear that Danny was his.

Even worse? Julian had been flirting with Danny like crazy. He tried keeping it subtle, but sometimes it slipped. He caught himself smiling, or touching Danny when he didn’t really mean to, or looking across the gym to watch him look out when he was sure Danny wouldn’t notice. Damn, and in the shower… Julian was kicking himself the whole time - he should have stood on the same wall as Danny so he could sneak looks at him, because turning around a hundred and eighty degrees to look was too obvious. Thinking about it now, he realized he’d probably missed the only chance he’d ever get to see Danny naked.

No, but it got worse than that. Julian actually, legitimately thought that Danny liked him back. There were moments at the gym and at the café that he’d thought that he was picking up on hints, whether Danny had intended them to be seen or not. He could feel Danny’s gaze on him and saw something sparkling in his eyes when he smiled - yeah, but he probably looked at everyone that way. He was practically a ball of sunshine, always so damn nice and smiling like he did.

And the worst of all was that Gronk could almost definitely beat him in a fight. So trying to make a move on Danny was really not a good idea, not if Julian wanted to avoid a black eye, at least.

His phone buzzed in his jacket pocket once, and then again. It woke him right from his trance and for a moment, he was grateful for the distraction. Until he checked the messages.

_(+617) Tom: good morning julian. i need your special skills_

Julian’s heart leapt in his chest. He swallowed hard and scrolled to the next text.

_(+617) Tom: my car needs an oil change. can I bring it to the garage in 30 minutes?_

For a good half a minute, Julian seriously considered whether or not Tom was trying to imply something through these texts, or if “oil change” was an euphemism for some weird sex move. Then Julian remembered it was Tom Brady he was talking to. The guy was about as direct as a brick wall to the face. Julian used his thumb to respond.

_sure dude. see u there_

He felt like an idiot just sitting in his car in the parking lot and hoped no one had noticed that he was still there. Still, he was grateful for the interruption and that, for a moment, he forgot about Danny and Rob and how he felt about it. Instead of brooding any longer, he put his key in the ignition, started the car, turned on his headlights and windshield wipers, and drove to work.

During the drive, he started to think about Tom a little more than he wanted to.

Tom had been a good friend of his for as long as he could remember. Julian’s dad had been friends with Tom’s dad back in the day when they lived in California, so it all stemmed from there. Tom was older, so he had left for college first, halfway across the country in Michigan, then moved to Boston after getting his business degree. They’d spent what seemed like forever apart from each other, but now that Julian had moved to Foxborough to help out at his father’s mechanic business, he was in touch with Tom again. 

It was nice, having Tom in his life again. Tom was ridiculously affluent and business-savvy because of his successful real estate and property management business, so he helped out in the monetary sense, but he was literally the only friend Julian had in the area. Having him around was really comforting. Julian didn’t really know how much he’d missed Tom until Tom was now back in his life.

Their relationship was complicated, outside of their friendship. There had been some moments, evenings, and nights spent together in the far past and the recent past, all of which they rarely ever talked about directly. It seemed like forever ago when they’d been each other’s first kiss, and how that had evolved into make out sessions in their bedrooms or at sunset in the park or under the bleachers of their high school football stadium. The memory of messing around and blushing red and losing their virginity to each other was more vivid, though - Tom had been slow, and gentle, and so warm and loving, and even now when Julian allowed himself to remember, he could feel his cheeks turn pink.

Since Julian had returned to Boston, though, there had been a number of hook-ups between them that was higher than Julian would like to admit. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement that the drunken kisses and under-the-desk blowjobs and fumbling fingers touching each other in the dead of night were nothing more than just fun between two friends. That simplicity was sometimes hard to believe when Tom was holding him a little too long when they hugged, or grabbing onto his hand and asking him to stay when they were awake past midnight and a little buzzed, or when Tom whispered “I love you” almost-accidentally once or twice when Julian was coming inside him.

But really, it was never anything more than that. Julian tried his best not to think about what could have been, because that was pointless and it hurt too much. Tom still looked at him with the same smile and look in his eyes as they used to - he was protective, compassionate, and supportive, such a good friend. It was clear that Tom cared about him, and Julian really cared about him right back.

If there could have been something real between them, the spark of hope died when Tom left California and became the sharply-dressed, business-oriented workaholic he was today. The lion-hearted, bright, smiling teenager Julian had so long ago fallen in love with didn’t seem to be in there anymore, or perhaps he was still back in California. Either way, it seemed that they were too old and too far gone to go back to how things used to be, and it could never be that way again.

From the cup holder next to his seat, Julian’s phone buzzed again and lit up, showing that Tom had again messaged him. As the stoplight in front of him turned from green to yellow to red, Julian eased on the brakes and checked the text.

_(+617) Tom: if you haven’t stopped yet, do you mind picking up a coffee for me?_

Julian felt a dull, misplaced pain in his heart when he responded,

_too late._

* * *

It wasn’t until Julian parked at the garage that the remembered he had ordered a coffee. When he picked it up and took a sip, it wasn’t as hot as he liked it to be, but he begrudgingly suffered through it anyway because he really needed the pick-me-up.

The shop was already opened up and some other employees were tending to any customers that happened to arrive, but business was slow, as usual. Julian punched in and put his belongings in the employee room. He hung up his jacket and pulled his hoodie up and over off his head until he was just in a tank top and jeans. He grabbed the spare stick of deodorant he kept in his locker and lifted each arm and applied it. He felt a sudden surge of dread wondering if he’d put some on before meeting Danny, but pushed the thoughts out of his mind. He took one final glance in the mirror before leaving the employee locker room and going to work. 

He was tucking his shirt into the waistband of his jeans when he spotted Tom across the garage, and then Tom’s car. Given that Tom’s car was a matte black Audi R8 with a V10 engine and sleek carbon fiber detailing, it was probably weird to notice Tom himself first, but at the same time, it was impossible not to notice him.

Tom was wearing a light grey, heather suit with a silk, sky blue top underneath that was unbuttoned deep enough to show the space where the indentation of his clavicle curved down into the start of his exposed chest. His outfit was fitted perfectly, showcasing his broad shoulders, slim hips and waist, and long legs. His stunning look was made complete with charcoal grey suede chelsea boots, an expensive-looking watch, and black aviator sunglasses which he managed to pull off and look good in even when the sun wasn’t even out.

Julian ran a hand through his hair as he approached Tom from across the room. “Hey, man. I thought you were coming in later?” There was a still a good fifteen minutes until the time Tom had said he would arrive.

Tom had the keys to his Audi in his hand and he held them out for Julian to take. “Traffic was light,” he said with a shrug. Really? In this weather, and all the way from Boston? Tom must have left early to get to the shop sooner. Julian took the keys and didn’t question him. Tom was already changing the subject. “How are you doing this morning? Are you busy today?”

Julian was never busy, because they barely had any customers, and Tom knew that. Still, Julian wasn’t really in the mood for small talk. Coming from Tom, casual conversation like this could seem so awkward sometimes because of how intimately they knew each other, and to be honest, it kind of upset Julian to be talking to in this distant manner. “Not really,” he answered, and moved on quickly. “I’m going to get started on the car, so you can get to work as soon as possible.”

He started to walk away, but Tom’s assertive yet concerned voice stopped him. “Julian,” Tom started, his brow furrowing slightly. “Are you alright?”

Julian didn’t let himself think too hard about the question and continued walking to get his tools. “Yeah. I’m fine,” he answered, trying to be as convincing as possible. He paused to gesture to Tom over his shoulder. “Hey, I kind of lost my appetite for coffee this morning. You can warm mine up and drink it if you want. There’s a microwave in the lobby.” He kept walking after that, and Tom didn’t answer, just showed himself to the waiting room.

Not long later, Julian was going to work on the Audi and giving it a quick oil change and making sure everything was working properly. Aside from this one, Tom had several cars, and Julian was intimately familiar with all of them.

Tom’s day-to-day car was a BMW 7-series in a metallic, chocolate brown color, an absurdly fancy luxury vehicle with genuine ivory-colored leather, a glass roof, a built-in wine cooler, and plenty of legroom for Tom, who was almost six and a half feet tall. He also owned other sports cars aside from his Audi. He had a gorgeous Ferrari 458 convertible in white which he only drove in the summer months when he was absolutely certain there would be no rain. Also, there was the silver Jaguar F-type with subtle orange detailing which he took out in the dry autumn months. 

Tom always had an expensive taste, and these fancy European sports cars really emphasized that. Because of how rare his cars were to find in the States, he claimed that it was difficult to find a suitable mechanic, so he went to Julian for all repairs, big or small. Julian really couldn’t imagine that his father’s small business could outmatch the skill of other major auto mechanic shops, but Tom repeatedly insisted. 

Julian had realized early on that this was probably - no, _definitely_ just an excuse Tom used to come and see him, but Julian never said anything about it and pretended not to catch on. Regardless, Tom was their most frequent customer, not to mention the parts for his cars needed to be ordered special and thus cost more, so he was basically the shop’s foremost source of revenue, by far. In all honesty, Tom was single-handedly keeping the business from going under. That was probably on purpose, too, but they never discussed it.

Since it was such an easy routine by now, Julian finished in less than half an hour. It would have been even less if the car wasn’t so fancy, but Jules preferred the challenge.  
When Julian went into the customer waiting room to tell Tom the car was done, he found Tom reading the business and stock section of the newspaper and drinking the last of Julian’s coffee which he had warmed up. He had one leg crossed over his lap and looked too tall for the old, patchy chair he was sitting in. It was miraculous how Tom could make any seat look like a damn throne.

“All done,” Julian said as he walked in. He waited for Tom’s eyes to turn in his direction and then tossed the keys across the room to Tom, without warning.

Tom only had to raise one hand and, with cat-like reflexes, caught the keys in his fist. He uncrossed his legs and stood from his seat, holding the now empty coffee cup in his hand before tossing it into a nearby trash bin. “This had almond milk in it; I could taste it,” he pointed out, ever the connoisseur. “Did you finally find a shop that could tailor to your special tastes?”

Julian was in no mood whatsoever to think about the Danny’s shop right now, probably because he hadn’t had his morning coffee. Tom seemed to enjoy it, though, so Julian didn’t regret giving it up. “Yeah, the place is alright,” he shrugged, and left it at that. Jules was almost desperate to keep Tom from picking up on any hints. “Come on, let me ring you up.”

Tom stood from his seat and followed. He was so tall, lean, and graceful. His presence drew the eyes of everyone in the room, or at least it seemed to. He was so professional and intimidating, like he could kill you with a sharp gaze. He was taking his black leather wallet out of the back pocket of his slacks and opening it up, sifting through a wad of dollar bills, and even something that simple was amplified in attractiveness for the sole reason that it was Tom Brady doing it. And the wad of cash certainly didn’t make things any worse.

The customer waiting room was virtually empty aside from one person charging and using their laptop in the corner of the room, so if they talked quietly it would seem like they were alone. Jules wasn’t exactly sure if he preferred it that way or not.

While he stood on the other side of the countertop and watched with disinterest as Julian punched buttons on the computer to calculate a total, Tom kept his hands in the pockets of his slacks. His eyes were on Julian the whole time, on his body, on his lips, and everywhere they travelled, Julian could feel it. 

“Thank you for doing this,” Tom said finally. His voice was quiet, his tone low and dark. It was so enticing, like rumbling music. It was a voice he put on on purpose. Julian was all too familiar with it.

Jules made sure to remain professional, no matter how much it hurt him to do so. “Don’t mention it,” he said for the hundredth time. This was about the time he usually refused to accept Tom’s payments but Tom always insisted, and also, with the way the shop was starting to go under, they could really use the money. 

His pace slow and deliberate, Tom stepped to his right and slowly progressed down the length of the counter so he could turn and move to the side Julian was standing. He traced his fingers on the cold countertop as he moved. “I know I say it every time, but it does mean a lot to me. You do a great job and I’m grateful to know someone as talented as you.”

Julian could feel a corner of his lips turn up in a smile. He almost wanted to kick himself for giving in, but it was so hard not to. “I appreciate that, Tom,” he responded in a voice just as quiet.

Tom was standing next to him behind the counter now. There was a wall of red tool cabinets and boxes behind them, so they were out of sight from the rest of the customers and employees. “Why don’t you come over tonight?” he suggested, and his voice lowered to almost a whisper. “I’ll make something for dinner, we’ll have a bottle of wine…”

Julian swallowed hard. He felt cornered. “I promised my dad I’d put some extra hours in, help him clean up.” This wasn’t true, of course, but it sounded like a good excuse.

Tom placed a hand on the small of Julian’s back, a slight distance away from his rear end, but kept his touch gentle, as if easing Julian towards him or trying to entice him in some way. “How about this weekend? I’m having people over to celebrate the new properties my company just bought.” His hand snuck downwards and was now resting on the base of Julian’s ass, threatening to squeeze at any moment. “I’d love for you to be my plus one.” 

Even if he had an answer, which he didn’t, Julian couldn’t find the words to reply. He started wondering about the smoothie date with Danny, and if that was even going to happen. Danny had seemed pretty eager and open about the idea, but that might have been just a front so things wouldn’t get awkward. The thought of them doing it just as friends would have been nice because Julian would get to see him, but it made him sad as well.

Something else that made him sad was when Tom did things like this. Tom cared, and Julian knew that he did, but Julian wanted something romantically serious, not casual. Tom must have noticed Julian’s muscles tensing up because he removed his hand. “Julian, I promise it would be fun. And with the way you’re acting, it sounds like you could use some fun.” Yet again, Julian didn’t answer. Tom straightened himself and sighed. “You aren’t doing either of us any good by shutting down like this. Will you tell me what’s wrong?”

Julian supposed there was no point in keeping Tom out of the loop. He turned away from the counter and faced Tom, looking up at him and folding his arms. “Listen, it’s no big deal, but… I met a guy.” 

Very gently and almost imperceptibly, Tom jerked back and his lips parted. His verbal response was just the same - shocked, but still careful. “A guy?” he repeated, as if to clarify. “What kind of guy?” 

Julian gestured with one hand, looking off into the distance and trying to find the words, but he couldn’t. “Just a guy,” he decided to say. Just a guy. Really? Obviously Danny was more that that, but he didn’t want to say that to Tom.

It didn’t matter if he said more or not. Tom had already picked up on more. “I see,” he said. Julian hated it when Tom said that. It was so simple but so condescending and it always meant that Tom was holding back from saying how he really felt. “Is it anything serious?”

The truth would have been to say no, but Julian was in a sour mood and instead said, “Not yet.” More appropriate of an answer would have been ‘not ever’ but that was a truth Julian wasn’t willing to face at right now.

How Tom felt about this showed in his eyes. The keen haughtiness in his gaze shifted and was replaced, just for a millisecond, by jealousy. It was such a subtle display that only someone as physically and personally close to Tom as Julian was could pick it up. But Tom quickly got back on his feet. There was a smile on his face in no time. He placed a hand on Julian’s shoulder. “That’s great, Julian. I’m so happy for you.”

The scariest part was that Tom sounded completely genuine, which he probably was, but he was just so good at hiding the fact that he was possessive and bitter on the inside. Julian knew that he was. Tom couldn’t get away with it easily. But Julian didn’t bring it up. “Thanks, Tom,” he said instead. “It means a lot to me that you’re supportive.” 

“Of course I am,” Tom clarified, and it didn’t sound forced at all. He took his hand down. “But that doesn’t explain why you’re acting so tense. Is something wrong? Did he hurt you?” Tom’s emotions started to show through again, but this time, his narrowed eyes and the loss of the smile showed him to be concerned and possessory. 

Julian waved him off. “No, nothing happened, don’t worry.” He already knew that telling Tom not to worry wouldn’t stop him from worrying. “It’s just making me nervous, you know? It’s stupid to get worked up over, but this guy is really something else. It’s like middle school all over again.”

Both of them knew that Julian’s crush in middle school, and grade school, and all of high school, had been Tom, but neither of them mentioned it. “If you say so.” Tom adjusted his collar and straightened himself, trying to keep professional after feeling himself slip. “Just let me know if something happens. I can take care of it.” 

Julian felt himself smiling again. “Yeah, yeah. I know.” Thinking of Tom as a protective older brother instead of a possessive ex-boyfriend made Julian feel better, but sometimes it was hard to tell the difference. “I’ll keep you updated, alright? I’ll tell you if it’s going anywhere. And if it does get serious, I want you to meet him.”

Finally, this got Tom smiling again. All he needed was this subtle reaffirmation that he was still a part of Julian’s life. “That would be nice.” If anything, it would alleviate his fears that Danny was a bad person. Julian almost wished it could happen sooner rather than later.

Once he had finished charging Tom’s debit card, Julian handed the piece of plastic back to him and Tom took it. “I’ll text you later, okay? I gotta get back to work.” He paused for a moment and said what he knew Tom needed to hear. “It was nice to see you.”

Tom was still smiling, making this the longest consecutive run Julian had seen in a while. “It was nice to see you as well, Julian,” he said as he put the card back into his wallet and pocketed it. “I’m going to get going. I’ll see you soon.” 

There was a long moment where they both paused, holding their breath, wanting to step in and hug or shake hands or touch each other in some way, but nothing happened, and so they turned around and went their separate ways.


	5. Strawberries, Cherries...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, it's Saturday! Anybody else happy about the weekend? 
> 
> I hope all of you are going to have a lot of fun with this one... I like it. I really do :) Feel free to share your reactions with me if you are up to it. And yes the chapter title comes from Summer Wine because I love that song and it's been stuck in my head for the whole week. Great song really!
> 
> Enjoy :)

The last few days had been weird. After Rob's overly charming way of pushing Danny's sexuality directly into Julian's face, their usual morning meeting had been awkward. At least that was what it had seemed like to Danny. Even though Jules still came in every day their conversations felt like they had gone back to the routine they've had before they had met at the gym. It was mostly small talk and Danny felt horrible. 

The only reason he could think of for Julian to go back to where they had been before was the fact that Jules rejected him, or at least rejected the part of him that Rob had so gingerly defined by talking about how Danny liked to make himself look all nice and strong for pretty boys at the café. Danny couldn't tell if Julian repelled him because he was uncomfortable with Danny's sexuality in general or because he had caught on to Danny's crush on him as well. Which didn't seem all too improbable considering that the only way for Rob to act more subtle about Danny's feelings would've been to hold up a monstrous flashing sign that read “Danny really wants to suck you off and he won't shut up about it!”.

Danny knew Rob had not meant to cause trouble. He never did. But the tall ass puppy sometimes forgot that not everybody was as laid-back as he was. Things could've gone better if Danny had been in charge. He would've tried to deliver the message in a much gentler way, instead of throwing information at Julian early in the morning when he had not even had his coffee. 

Right now Danny was leaning against the counter in the café trying to soothe his restless mind. Part of him had wanted to text Julian during each of the last few days. He wanted to ask Jules for another meeting, another chance, another shared workout experience or anything he could use as an opportunity to redeem himself. He wanted to find out if there was still a way to make Julian realize that Danny's sexuality didn't mean he was a different person.

The rest of him felt like staying away would be the better option. If Julian couldn't accept him as a person, as a friend, solely based on the reason of Danny being into both sexes, he shouldn't be worth the trouble. Telling harsh truths like that to a love-sick heart that felt recessed to teenage years and puberty was more difficult than it sounded. It hurt; it made Danny smile less and be less energetic and he knew it. He could tell by the glances Zack kept throwing at him, by the way Rob was a lot more touchy than he usually was when they were working together. 

Even Sam and Heather – who were Danny's other two employees but came in for less working hours than the two boys per week – had caught up to the fact that _something_ was going on. It probably wasn't even hard to notice, a fact that bothered Danny more. He didn't want to be an open book for everyone around him. Still, since some of his most consistent habits had changed during the last week, he couldn't blame the girls. He knew he was the one making them realize something was wrong by pushing his mood towards them. 

A good example was that for years Danny had kept his phone in a certain spot next to the cash register for every shift he had taken. It was well hidden and always set on silent mode so customers couldn't see it and would never be bothered by it. The only exception was the ring tone Danny had set for his grandmother and his mum to make sure he was accessible in emergency cases or whenever his Gran called because of anything about the café. He had never been a person to check his phone during work. Any kind of messages or missed calls could and would wait until Danny was done working for the day. All of his friends knew it, because it also resulted in him not being contactable while he was at work. But it made the fact that, at the moment, Danny was constantly holding eye contact with his phone almost unbearably odd. 

Danny didn't even know what exactly he was waiting or hoping for. By the way Julian had acted towards him it was clear that he couldn't expect any kind of approach from the other man. There was no rational reason to expect a message. There was absolutely no reason to keep on debating if he should just take the first step by himself. Sending someone a message when you already knew they wouldn't want to receive it was nothing more than self-harm. And scraping together all his strength only to write a text that would never be replied to would probably work as a multiplier for Danny's feelings. He didn't feel ready to take that risk. 

Still, Danny threw another longing glance at his phone. No colorful LED was lightening up and his heart clenched slightly. Why exactly did most men end up with the hearts of proud warriors while he had managed to catch one that had been designed to spend its life inside a 16-year-old teenager?

When Rob stepped out of the back of the bakery he groaned slightly. “Danny, come on now, man. Just take that damn phone and text him before I do it. You are torturing yourself. Probably both of you.” He rolled his eyes slightly before placing the cupcakes he had just retrieved from the fridge on their display. “If I have the balls to talk to a pretty girl I like and put myself at risk to receive a slap instead of a pair of nicely shaped cups in my hands, you can fucking write a message.”

Danny just softly shook his head. How did his best friend not understand how complex the situation actually was? It was not about Danny fearing rejection of a possible hook-up. It was the fear of being pushed down by someone whose touch and love he was longing for, of being repelled when his heart already felt involved and of being diminished because of something as intimate and vulnerable as his sexuality. 

“I'm fine. And I’m not going to write anything.” Danny's voice was certain and strict enough to leave no room for discussions. Danny hadn’t even told Rob that this whole mess was probably Rob’s doing, mostly because he didn't want to push negative feelings onto his best friend. However the fact that Gronk would definitely disagree with him and just repeat how stupid both of them were wasn't really something Danny was craving to hear again. 

“You want to tell me again, that you don't care at all?” Rob looked down at Danny, after throwing another glance through the saleroom making sure they were not forgetting about any customers. 

It was always an intimidating situation, Danny couldn't lie about it, Rob towering over him like that, but by now he just knew too much about the younger one to get actually scared by him. “I never said that I don't care. I just don't need help on this. Just give me a few more days and I'll be back to normal.” Strained and tired. That was what Danny sounded like because it was the exact replication of his most present feelings. Of course there were more of them, brooding beneath the surface, but he managed to keep them out of his voice. 

Rob shook his head with a slightly annoyed bristle before crossing his arms in front of his chest. “So I guess you don't care about your phone lighting up right now.” 

Danny's eyes grew wide. He had been about to say something along the lines of _no I don't_ until Rob's words had truly sunken in. His friends didn't text him when he was at work, his Gran didn't know how to text. Julian... Still staying silent, Danny bit down onto his lower lip harsher than he usually did before shaking his head slightly. “Just... give me some space,” he mumbled overstrained with what to tell his friend. 

Without another word Danny passed Rob's much bigger body even in the small space behind the counter, a skill he had mastered quickly after starting to work with both of his male co-workers. Just as he reached for his phone though the small bell over the door announced a new customer. Danny's gaze moved up quickly and his heart jumped into his throat. He couldn't lie: right now serving a customer was the least thing on his mind, but it was his job, he loved his job. A soft push to his side though made him look up at Rob who just nodded into the direction of the door leading to the kitchen. Danny smiled carefully and remembered why and how Rob was such a great friend. Most of the times. 

Quickly Danny vanished out of the saleroom, opening the message on his phone with quick fingers. 

_(+508) Julian: Hey. I know we've both been kinda busy last few days but I still owe you that fijian smoothie. So if you're up for it and not too busy and interested, I'd be happy to serve you later. You could come over when you're done with work for today. Depending on how hungry you are I can definitely find a way to satisfy you._

Danny's heart was alternating between jumping high up into his throat and going back to punching against his ribcage with each of the words he read. He shivered slightly and nibbled his lip without realizing it. He re-read the text at least three times before daring to look away from it for a second. So, Julian didn't actually hate him? 

Fuzzy warmth spread through Danny's chest, washed over his arms, tummy and legs. He had no patience left to start playing things cool now, he'd been patient for days.

_sounds good. I'll be done around 5pm, does it fit your schedule?_

Danny grinned to himself once he hit the send button. 

_(+508) Julian: It ll fit. See you there_

Another message with Julian's address followed swiftly and Danny felt his heart make a leap inside of his chest. Still he tried to push away the realization that, in just a few hours, he would be completely alone with the other man. There was no way he could tell Rob about this. But there was also no way he would be able to actually keep his mouth shut. 

With a broad smile on his lips Danny stepped back into the saleroom and finally could keep himself from constantly glancing at his phone.

* * *

A few hours later, Danny found himself jogging up the stairs to Julian's flat. He carried two pineapples and contemplated hiding them somewhere as soon as his brain decided to remind him of the famous melon-scene from Dirty Dancing. Sadly the staircase had no corners nor had it any kind of potted plants that could've made a good hiding spot. Helplessly Danny scrunched up his nose for the next set of stairs and looked down at the fruit in his arms. Bringing them to a smoothie date hadn't been that bad of an idea, had it? Julian could probably really use them. Plus, it _wasn't_ a date and he needed to stop freaking out.

Still, Danny felt extremely out of place, nervousness pushing adrenaline into his system as he climbed the last few stairs and saw the door to his left being pulled open. Julian was right there and it almost took his breath away. 

Jules was wearing casual sweatpants again, dark grey ones, hanging low on his lips, and a black, slim fitting shirt that hugged his chest and arms in a way that made Danny's knees feel weak for a moment. The snapback on Julian's head looked slightly out of place but in a weird way Danny wasn't sure if he had ever seen something as adorable before in his life. 

With a smile on his lips, Danny walked up to Jules, offering the two pineapples from his arms with a soft but probably pathetic chuckle. “I thought you might like pineapples, so... I brought these.” Sometimes Danny wasn't sure if biting off your own tongue was actually an action desperate people could take. 

“First and foremost: hi, Danny,” Julian teased before reaching for both fruit to free Danny from their weight. “I actually do love pineapples, but you don't seem to get the concept of me repaying you...” Jules smiled as he led Danny inside and closed the door behind him. “You brought me gifts to when I wanted to treat you. But thank you, it is actually really sweet.”

The only thing that kept Danny from blushing harshly and cursing himself was Julian's gentle voice and the laid-back atmosphere he so easily created. “Don't mention it.” Danny mumbled while he carefully got rid of his shoes and his jacket, placing everything neatly next to Julian's. When he turned back to Jules, the other one grinned before making a welcoming gesture with the arm that wasn't holding onto the fruit. 

“Welcome to my place, just make yourself at home.” Julian smiled and seemed to hesitate for a second before he decided to take his arm back to secure the pineapples. “Bathroom is right here to your right, left is the living room and stuff but you definitely want to follow me to the most important room for tonight: the kitchen!” Full on entertainer mode was the first thing that came to Danny's mind while Julian talked. His voice was sweet but the energy it held was the most mesmerizing part. Even if a small part of Danny's brain screamed that the kitchen wasn't really what he was most interested in.

Danny followed Julian through the rather nondescript hallway, throwing only a short glance into the living room, smiling about the spacious couch that was the only thing he could actually see. The fact that there was no fourth door to a bedroom made Danny wonder if Julian actually slept on the couch but as comfortable as it had looked, Danny couldn't quite believe that. 

The first step into the kitchen though left him stunned. The cupboards and counter all attested a very classic design with wooden fronts and a heavy stone countertop, but the light coming from the ceiling and the space beneath the upper row of cupboards submerged the variations of ingredients on the counter in warmth. The room looked cozy and the food delicious.

“Wow. You were not exaggerating when you told me you knew what you were doing,” Danny said while he took a step into the room, looking at the blender Jules had already conveniently placed in a well-accessible position on the counter as well. Maybe it was always that reachable if Julian was actually that much into smoothies, Danny wondered before he shook his head to keep his mind in the here-and-now.

“You really thought I would invite you over and brag about this without being able to impress you?” Julian's voice sounded playful at first but slightly stumbled over the words at the end of the sentence. 

Danny just tilted his head while he watched the other one move and felt his heart beating heavily in his chest. If there was only a chance to make Jules stutter or hesitate because he got as nervous as Danny felt. Holding on to childish fantasies was the wrong way if Danny wanted to assure the other one that his sexuality didn't make him a threat. 

“Well, to be honest, I didn't quite know what to expect,” Danny admitted while Jules got two tall glasses out of one of the cupboards. “So are we gonna do these together or am I supposed to lean back and just watch you do your magic?” - something that Danny definitely wasn't good at. He liked to get involved and he liked to help. Watching other people work where he could help was strange and mostly made him feel uncomfortable. At the café he could only accept watching his employees work because he knew he paid them well.

Julian easily moved to get two sharp knives before turning around to his guest and searching for his gaze. “If you’d like to help, I feel it could be a lot more fun that way. But if you'd rather relax after work, you can do that as well. I told you, I want to treat you tonight.” 

For a second there Danny didn't know if there was a hidden message right in front of him and he just happened to not pick it up. The choice of words in Julian's text had been special already and right now Danny felt set back to the time when he thought he might've experienced Julian flirting with him, at least a bit. It was nice, even with all the confusion it caused. 

“Let me help,” Danny answered quickly before getting closer to the counter and looking at the different ingredients with interested gazes. Fruits were so good at sparking inspiration for new cakes or cupcakes and maybe one or two of Julian's ideas for combinations could end up at the café. Danny smiled at the idea of creating a new cupcake that would remind him of Julian. He was an idiot.

Julian disrupted his thoughts by placing a knife in front of him and smiling sweetly. They were close. “Just cut off the green of the strawberries for me then?” Jules asked and his voice quickly sent goose bumps over Danny's skin. How was he so close? 

Danny wasn't actually sure if he could smell Julian's scent already or if his mind was playing tricks on him but he felt his fingers shake slightly when he reached for the knife and the first strawberry. In the meantime next to him Jules expertly beheaded one of the pineapples and started getting rid of the paring with long and skillful cuts. 

It was a bit of a mess, obviously, as working with fruit often was. Juice was gathering on both of their slats and Danny had to keep himself from licking his fingers and stealing some of the ingredients to eat. He was feeling weird, trying to keep himself from staring at Jules and giving in to the seductive strawberry smell that constantly flooded his senses. 

Three minutes later though Danny started to care less. He wanted something to come out of this date, more than just them standing next to each other speechless. He wanted to be comfortable. He wanted it to feel good. 

With a soft smile on his lips, Danny turned so he could lean the side of his hip against the countertop. His eyes danced along Julian's side for a moment, enjoying the view, while he lifted one of the strawberries to his lips. “These are not numbered, right?” Danny's voice was soft before he carefully closed his lips around the fruit to take a bite out of it. Of course he could've gone with popping the whole berry into his mouth at once, but he wanted to savour the taste and feel the juice on his lips. Maybe part of him wanted Jules to see it. 

“No, they aren't.” Julian sounded a bit distant before he looked up and started smiling immediately once he looked at Danny. “Good thing you waited for my answer before biting into one, though,” he chuckled shaking his head softly. Teasing. Good. 

Danny could easily take that as a sign that he had a chance to make Jules relax as well, get rid of the tension between them. “You want one too?” Danny smiled before he placed the rest of the strawberry deliberately between his lips. 

Jules looked at him for a hint longer than what would've been normal and nodded then. “Sure, you gonna throw it?”

While Danny's mind had already come up with dozens of scenarios for feeding Julian a strawberry that would be lot more rewarding than throwing it to him, he still nodded with a slight grin before reaching for a fruit. He knew he couldn't have flirty and sexy, so he would take playful any day. 

With a chuckle Jules moved back from the counter, getting in a better position to move before Danny gently threw the fruit up in the air. Gracefully and by far quicker than Danny had expected Jules moved to adapt to the way the strawberry was flying before catching it with his mouth. 

“Dude.... That throw was so bad, how did you do that? Do it again!” Danny laughed while Julian grinned widely, chewing happily on the sweet treat. As soon as Jules signaled he was ready Danny threw the next one and watched in awe as the other man caught it again. “I can't believe this. I found your superpower. With the way you’re calculating these flight paths, you could be a wide receiver.”

“Well, there are cooler superpowers than this one.” Julian was still grinning despite his humble words, a sense of pride and self-confidence flashing in his eyes that almost made Danny blush. “But it's always nice to be good with your mouth.” Jules laughed before turning back to cutting the pineapple into smaller pieces that would be easier for the blender.

Danny just blinked. How in the world was Jules affected and weirded out by Danny's sexuality but kept on saying these things? Maybe he sometimes forgot and just treated Danny like he would do with any other male friend. Did he expect a macho joke about being good with one's mouth now so they could both get a beer and be masculine together? Jules was confusing but Danny tried to stop himself before getting lost in his own thoughts. 

“So I put these in there now?” Changing the topic quickly sounded like a good idea and Jules didn't seem like he even realized the inner struggle Danny had just went through.

“Exactly, don't put all of them though, their taste is pretty powerful and they’re nice to eat on their own.” Jules smiled at him before reaching for two more strawberries himself. One easily landed in his mouth but for the other he smiled as he held it out for Danny. 

Confused for a second, Danny just alternated between looking at Julian and peering at the fruit before he remembered what he had thought about just moments before. He wanted to be relaxed and have fun. With an insecure smile he leaned in the rest of the way to catch the berry between his lips, being especially careful to not get too close to Julian's fingertips. Mostly because that was definitely not something straight male friends would do... or would they? How was Danny supposed to know these things? 

Jules seemed satisfied, grinning a bit and then moving away for a second to put on some music before reappearing on Danny's right instead of his left side. With a soft motion Julian's hip connected with Danny's side to push him just an inch out of the way so he could open the fridge and collect some more ingredients. Danny was just watching by now, trying not to appear like a stalker or a freak. But Julian didn't seem to mind. 

“Alright, so... we've got strawberries in there, now pineapple...,” Jules mumbled after he had placed small containers on the countertop. He quickly shoved some of the pineapple into the blender before turning around. Where did I put the.... ah here they are!” He smiled widely as he reached for a bowl of fruit that Danny had never seen before. “What's that? Not that I don't trust you but...”

“It's acerola,” Julian smiled while he added the pulp to the other fruits. “It has a lot of vitamin C, it's really good for you, but it's rare since it can't be exported like other fruit. It's really ripe when they harvest it so you have only a really short time span to do something with it before you can't eat it anymore. But I like it, it has a subtle taste, kind of mild for something with that much vitamin C.” He reached for a bottle with cherry essence before pouring a small swig of that into the blender as well. Danny felt more and more impressed by the second. “Alright now... most important thing,” Jules softly grinned at Danny, “Greek yogurt. Thats the stuff. That and the ice are the base for almost every good smoothie.” 

Danny only nodded and watched the way Julian opened up the container before pouring some of the yogurt into the blender as well. As Jules looked up, Danny just smiled a bit helplessly. “I'm getting overstrained but extremely impressed over here,” was the only thing that felt right to say, since admitting your weaknesses could play out to be strength. 

It seemed like it had worked because Jules eyes got softer and he reached for a teaspoon to put some of the yogurt onto it. “Let me explain...” He smiled before reaching for a strawberry, quickly placing it on a slat to cut it in half before gently placing the strawberry onto the teaspoon as well. Julian held the spoon up then, looking at Danny directly. “Try it,” he ordered in a voice that made Danny wonder about all the things he'd do for Julian if he’d only asked in that voice. 

Danny leaned in, catching the spoon and carefully chewing on the ingredients once they were in his mouth. It didn't taste much different than any other kind of yogurt Danny knew, just a lot less sweet, which was probably a good thing. 

“It has some texture to it, can you feel that with your tongue?” Julian asked. Danny nodded even though his head was busy with all the things he wanted to feel with his tongue. “Also, there’s no sugar added which means the taste of the fruits doesn't get overshadowed by sweetness and it’s a lot healthier. But I mostly like it because of the texture.” Jules smiled again and Danny's heart jumped at how adorable it was to watch the other one get so excited about his explanations.

“Yeah, I think I can feel that texture difference,” Danny finally replied and was rewarded with another grin that reminded him of how rays of sunshine looked when they broke through clouds.

After Julian had added the ice, some honey, protein powder and - with a teasing wink - a good amount of almond milk, he closed the lid. It took less than a minute for the blender to mix their ingredients into something that smelled amazing once the lid came off, even though the dusky pink colour was slightly weird to Danny. 

Julian poured both of them a glass before handing one to Danny and looking at him expectantly. “Cheers, and thank you again for showing me around the gym. I feel like one smoothie really can't repay you for your time but maybe if … you like this one we can just repeat the whole cooking experience some... other time.” Julian's voice had been playful at the beginning but gotten less and less confident over time. 

Danny didn't get the problem. He had apparently arrived in heaven without noticing. “Cheers. And sure,” he answered without any hint of hesitation before clinking glasses with Jules and trying out his drink. He blinked once the full taste conquered his mouth. “Wow...”, Danny was truly stunned. He had expected the drink to be sour but it wasn't. The sweetness of the strawberries and cherries combined with honey completely overshadowed the tartness that could make pineapple and acerola hard to enjoy for sensitive taste buds. The taste was still there but it didn't bother or hurt. 

The smile on Julian's face, though, was by far sweeter than any of the strawberries. “You like it,” Julian stated and seemed more than happy with himself. 

Danny nodded, agreed and drank some more. It was silent between them for the moment but it wasn't awkward, it was actually soothing and Danny felt like he could get used to this. He really could. 

Once he set the smoothie back down for a moment, Julian started laughing softly and shook his head. “You … managed to...,” he softly pointed towards Danny's upper lip.

Danny blushed slightly when he realized what the other one was trying to communicate. He chuckled though, licking off the smoothie from his skin before looking back at Julian. “Better?” Danny asked and tilted his head slightly, when Julian only smiled again.

“Almost. Here, let me help.” Julian placed his glass on the counter before he got closer to place his hand beneath Danny's jawline so he could hold him while caressing away the remaining smoothie. 

Danny was stunned. He didn't dare to move or breathe. All he could think of were those gentle fingers on his skin. When their eyes met, the world seemed to stop spinning. They were close, so much closer than what Danny would've ever thought they might get. 

And suddenly there were gentle lips on his own, tentative and soft, chary and tender. 

He almost fainted that very second; Danny felt it, felt his knees going weak, felt his fingers almost losing grip on the glass they were holding. Jules, Jules, Jules, this was Jules and Danny couldn't think straight, couldn't move, couldn't react. His body went on sensational overload, he was blushing, his eyes were probably wide open and as much as he wanted to will himself to make this the scene from a romantic comedy movie, he couldn't. He shivered instead, and Julian drew back immediately, looking back at Danny wide-eyed and shocked as well. At least they were on the same page. 

Why?! Danny's head almost screamed with the question. Why when Jules didn't like men?! Why when he had been distant because of this before? Was this a test? Was he testing Danny? Was he testing himself? 

They looked at each other and now the silence between them was overwhelming, not comfortable like it had been before. Danny didn't know how to react, his heart was somewhere up in his throat, most of his mind wanting to just flee the scene. With a helpless gesture he lifted the glass again, drinking the rest of his smoothie in quick gulps before wiping over his upper lip quickly with the back of his hand. 

“Thank you... for the smoothie.” His voice was thin, but Julian was still not saying a word and Danny felt more and more horrible by the second. First and foremost, he felt weirdly used. He carefully placed the glass on the counter, waiting for any kind of reaction from the other one, internally begging for one but at the same time screaming because had he really just said, _thank you for the smoothie_? 

There were a million things Danny wanted to throw at Julian now. About how he felt, about how this kiss made him feel, question about what the hell Julian was thinking, but he couldn't. His mind was a raging hurricane of overwhelming feelings.

Danny slightly shook his head while he backed up. “I … like you, but …” Part of him wanted to scream out the truth. “I'm sorry, I can't do this, I like you.” Danny shook his head again, looking at the floor before looking straight at Julian. 

Danny really liked him, but he couldn't be the experiment Jules would want to try out for an hour before throwing it away. He needed more than that or nothing. Danny had never been one for short-lived shared body heat, his heart always acted as a protagonist and he couldn't sacrifice himself. No matter how much he longed for Julian's lips, his kisses and touch. 

When he got no reaction out of Julian, he smiled sadly, hurt before turning around and just racing to his shoes, catching his jacket on the fly and fleeing the flat.


	6. Ben & Jerry's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!  
> I am in a major hurry right now :S But I quickly wanted to leave this here for everybody to enjoy. Maybe don't hate me....?
> 
> Have fun reading ♥

It took Danny almost the whole drive home to finally grasp a clear thought again. Before it had all been a swirl of emotion, a maelstrom of longing and disappointment, and questions that he hadn’t been able to answer. The whole situation had been weird from the start. Being alone with Julian had felt surreal but never in his life had Danny expected a kiss. 

Of course he had been braver this time around. Instead of just glancing at Julian from afar, blushing occasionally like a teenager, he had actually managed to keep up a conversation with him. He had tried to be open, soft, and friendly and had wanted to be grateful for Jules being open-minded enough to message him even though he'd been so obviously confused by the externally-controlled outing. 

Danny knew his actions could've been interpreted as flirting. Actually it was hard not to flirt with Julian since he seemed to be teasing and playfully flirting with everyone around him all the time. Feeding each other playfully might not have felt like something every pair of extremely straight male friends would do, but Danny could see himself acting out the same kind of throw-and-catch game with Rob. He probably wouldn’t hand feed Gronk but that originated in the knowledge that Rob was always too hungry to go for only one strawberry at a time. 

However, Danny had not once asked for a kiss – at least not out loud – and the fact that Julian had just decided to go for it felt weird and obtrusive. It wasn’t the fact that he didn’t like the kiss. It was the circumstances and what the kiss stood for that he feared. 

The only explanation for Julian’s boldness was that Jules had caught up to Danny's crush on him and decided to use Danny to explore his own borders. 

It wasn’t like Danny had never been there before. Teenage boys in school had sometimes caught him taking a glimpse at them in the hallway or the locker room, pushing him into a corner after school just to see where it might take them. He had always been small enough to not come off as a threat. But he had learned early enough to read other people’s ambitions and react accordingly. The only reason for him never ending up in a situation where another guy would’ve gotten far enough to be inappropriate or dangerous – because not everybody’s intentions had been fueled by self-absorbed curiosity – had been the fact that he had started working out and had loved taking self-defense classes from an early age on. Most of all though Danny could turn into a warrior once he felt cornered. 

His best friends in school had started referring to him as special forces for a year after they had seen him being pushed back against a locker by a much larger guy in the hallway of their school. Before they had had the chance to come closer and help, Danny's aura had turned into what must've seemed like a raging fire and he'd pushed off the other guy, daggers shooting out of his eyes, telling the asshole off in a way that made sure he’d never touch anyone without their consent ever again. 

Obviously he’d lost some of the untamed teenage rage over the years and with Julian he hadn't felt cornered. But he had felt surprised and disappointed. It was still hard to believe that he’d been so wrong about Jules. Danny knew he tended to color in missing details on a person’s character with what could be rather than what was, but Julian had felt so far from arrogant or self-centered. 

Once Danny turned the car into the driveway his head came down on the wheel while he waited for the garage door to open. Why were people so complicated?

Danny sighed and looked up to get the car to its parking spot before he turned off the engine. As he reached out to open the door a thought crossed his mind that was almost too fleeting for him to catch it. Still, it managed to make his blood run cold and his heart jump up high into his throat. 

Danny swallowed. Suddenly the anger and disappointment from before got washed away by the feeling of sheer horror. While he knew this kind of panic rose up from whenever he felt like he forgot something important, right now it originated in the fact that instead of forgetting he might’ve overlooked something.

_What if Jules was not straight?_

Danny’s eyes grew wide and the knuckles of both of his hands turned white as he clenched them into fists. He had never actually heard Julian say a word about his sexuality. They had never discussed the topic. Danny had just assumed Julian to be straight from the beginning. He usually went with that assumption because it was the safest way to not get somebody mad if they were inclined to mildly homophobic thoughts. And if he was looking at a really attractive version of a guy it was easier to assume that he had no chance at all and not be disappointed than to be rejected. 

But with Jules, things had slowly started to turn different, Danny now realized. Danny had started to open up and flirt a bit. He had subconsciously made it possible for Julian to reject him, and while most of his conscious self was always afraid of being pushed away, his heart had not really cared and just trusted. Once Julian had changed his behavior so suddenly, Danny’s mind had felt affirmed and he had just assumed again. But thinking about it now, the idea of Julian being bi or gay suddenly started to be probable. 

While Danny slowly got out of his car his mind was racing. Too many questions added to the ones he’d been dealing with already and the walk into the house felt weirdly distant. 

“FUCK!” Danny exclaimed once he had gotten rid of his shoes and jacket, before falling back against the wall in his hallway. Did he actually have to face the possibility that he had managed to stop Julian from kissing him properly, actually refrained from kissing him back, solely based on the fact that he had been enough of a blockhead to be crowned king of the blockheads tomorrow? 

“This has to be a fucking nightmare…” He mumbled under his breath, turning around to lean his forehead against the cold wall instead. His hand came up at his side, still clenched into a fist, slightly banging against the surface and for a second Danny realized how grateful he was that he lived in a bungalow all by himself with nobody around to hear him curse or see him hate himself.

Danny pushed himself away from the wall, looking around the open room. The building was small but it was his – not entirely yet since his gran had helped him out with financing it and he still had some loan left to pay to her but it felt like it was his already – and he had always loved it, felt like it was a safe haven, home. The living room, hallway and kitchen were mostly one big room, only slightly separated by a counter that followed the wall of the hallway and concluded the kitchen slightly. Two doors connected the open space to a medium sized office and Danny’s bedroom which had an ensuite bathroom, while another one close to the entrance door led into a small bathroom meant for guests, that only had a toilet and a sink.

Usually after a long day, his couch, which was big enough to be comfortably used as a bed if somebody was staying over, TV, notebook, and some food were all Danny needed to relax before going to sleep. Today, he headed for his bedroom right away. He got rid of his shirt while walking and fought hard to keep himself from banging his head against the nearest surface again. 

There was no way this was actually happening to him. Somehow somewhere along the way he must’ve managed to end up in a TV show that liked making fun of people or a story by an author that loved torture. The possibility of Julian being bisexual was putting so many things into perspective that Danny felt his head getting dizzy. Maybe Julian didn’t flirt with all of his surroundings all the time, maybe he had just flirted with Danny…

With a groan, Danny covered his face with his hands and brushed them up higher to slightly tug at his hair. He didn’t even know what to do now. Part of him really wanted to call Julian right away, to apologize or just talk. But while he liked the thought of Jules liking boys he had no proof at all. If he would call him now to apologize for running away after a kiss that could’ve possibly developed into an amazing make-out session, just to be told that he’d been right with his conclusions and that Julian actually felt sorry for trying to use him, Danny would be devastated. 

Besides, he didn’t have the courage in himself to just pick up his phone and give it a try. Especially since he didn’t even know if Julian had not turned off his phone anyway, or maybe already even blocked Danny’s number. 

A soft helpless whine fell from Danny’s lips as he put on comfortable sweatpants and a Patriot’s hoodie – yes he was a fan, there was a reason why his Gran had called the café Cakezone and why it was along the road leading to the stadium – before falling face first into his bed. 

Danny couldn’t even judge what felt worse: the fact that he had no idea which of his thoughts on Julian and his sexuality were going the right direction. Meaning the confusion between Julian being straight and wanting to experiment with him or Julian being bi/gay and Danny fucking it all up. Or that it was highly probable that he had just passed up on everything that could’ve developed out of that kiss and fucked up any further chance he might have had with a man that had already seemed almost too fucking perfect for existence.

Another groan left his throat as he moved to turn and lie on his back, one hand coming up again to cover his eyes. It was really no surprise he was single. He had been single for _so long_ by now. How had he not at least kissed Julian back? Who cared about being a freaking experiment if it could’ve ended with Julian’s dick shoved into him. It had been ages since the last time Danny had actually felt a warm body next to his own and… he groaned again. 

He knew he would have never been happy with a one-night stand. Even though he sometimes longed to be ‘that guy’, the one who could just go around and get laid casually, it usually took him ages to even think about sex with another person. Why and how Julian had managed to invade his thoughts so fast was still equally exciting and concerning. The fact that right after the first few meetings Danny hadn’t been able to completely rid his thoughts of Julian’s pretty face and well-built body, no matter if he’d been daydreaming or jerking off, was special. Everything about Julian was. 

Right as Danny was evenly fluctuating between hating himself, anger, and trying to remind himself that he still had good reasons for doubting Julian, his phone buzzed in the pocket of his pants across the room. 

Danny had never felt closer to experiencing a heart attack. The phone gave off another noise before it went silent and Danny bit his lips before standing up to get it. Once he had the device in his hands he went back to fall onto the mattress before staring at the black screen like an idiot.

“Don’t be a chicken, god damn it,” Danny growled at himself before unlocking the screen. He wrinkled his nose once he realized Rob had been the one to text him. Of course it had been Rob. Julian wouldn’t have a reason contact him, would he? 

With a sigh, Danny opened the message and slowly propped up his eyebrow:

_(+508) Rob: Man you GOTTA CHECK YOUR MAILS IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY! What am I saying if you had you’d already be all over me. GO CHECK YOUR MAIL ACCOUNT_

_(+508) Rob: Also I just wanna highlight that ZACK found it. So wasn’t me. Could’ve been me but wasn’t. Don’t wanna take credit for what I didn’t do. GO NOW DO IT_

Another text followed swiftly but this one was from Zack. 

_(+508) Zack: I told him he shouldn’t send it to you… Just to clarify._

For a second, Danny wondered what his employees were doing together at this time of day but then he decided that he didn’t really want to know and supposed they were well allowed to meet up after work. They were friends after all. 

Danny quickly answered before getting up from the bed. He knew Rob would not stop tormenting him until he’d give in and Danny really had no energy left inside him to fight right now.

_I’m checking it in a few, calm down, Rob._

He walked over to the living room to get his laptop but stopped on the way back. His eyes fell on the fridge and he only hesitated for a second before he went over, not questioning his actions, getting a spoon and his emergency reserve of Half Baked Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. He didn’t really deserve any kind of treat right now, but he needed it. 

With a sigh, Danny fell back onto the bed, putting the ice cream onto the nightstand to let it thaw slightly while he opened and turned on his laptop. He leaned back into the headboard, keeping the computer on his legs while he reached for the ice cream to take off the lid. He carefully scratched away the icy first layer and reminded himself of how he really had to eat more ice cream – or buy less – if he wanted to prevent those little crystals from happening, but soon enough he was sighing at the perfect sweetness filling his mouth. 

Even though it was almost too easy to forget why he had gotten up in the first place, Danny wanted to check Rob’s mail fast so he could go back to sulking: the date he had now managed to get himself for tonight. Not that a bit of brownie-cookie goodness could actually replace Julian, but at least Ben & Jerry were rather uncomplicated boys.

Another groan followed, Danny trying to forget about the feel of Julian’s lips on his own by pressing the cold spoon against the soft skin while he finally found Rob’s mail and opened it. It contained three links. There was no text, no emoji, nothing really but the urls gave pretty much away to which kind of site they were leading. It was a good thing Rob had messaged him because otherwise Danny would’ve thought it was spam. 

With a furrowed brow, he took another spoonful of ice cream before he clicked on the first link, wrinkling his nose when the site went up. It wasn’t like Danny had never been on a porn site before… but he’d never been the biggest fan of them either. It was too much to sort out before he could actually find some good stuff on there and most of the times things had gotten him frustrated instead. He usually had his go-to fantasies or just went to watch one nice video to get himself in the mood, before pushing away the computer to have more freedom. 

Since Danny couldn’t see anything around the specific video Rob had sent him that would’ve made for a good joke, he just got more confused. The uploader’s name was “Smooth_Criminal11” but that didn’t count as enough of a joke, for your best mate to send you porn. On the other hand, the thought of Rob actually sending him the link because of the video itself was even weirder. 

With a sigh Danny gave in put another spoon of ice cream into his mouth before he clicked the play button. The video buffered up and the first thing Danny saw was a pair of really, really nice thighs leaning close towards the camera, being partly covered by dark blue boxer briefs that hugged the muscles perfectly. So it was amateur stuff, Danny realized, but still didn’t really know what to make of it. He couldn’t deny that the pair of legs was pretty damn attractive, which was probably – next to his curiosity – the reason for why he kept watching.

The fact that he was eating ice cream while apparently watching porn was just slightly disturbing, but got easily forgotten once the guy on screen seemed content with the focus of the camera, which he had been playing with for several moments now. It had to be something spectacular, Danny thought, by the amount of good ratings this thing had gotten, even though it had been about one minute of just legs by now. Maybe that was the point. Maybe it was a joke. Maybe it was only legs.

But the idea vanished once a soft sigh was coming from the speakers of Danny’s laptop while the man on screen moved back to sit on his heels. He turned around then, stretching a bit, showing off his lower back and his perfect ass. It was literally beautiful. Actually perfect. Danny only remembered to breathe once a drop of ice cream landed on his chest right on the one spot of skin that his hoodie didn’t cover. 

When he looked back up, that delicious bum was still the center of attention and Danny almost forgot about how bad he felt… although the sight did trigger memories. He remembered seeing another equally perfect ass just recently. But obviously he was just blessed with watching nice bodies in his life, while he didn’t get to touch any of them.

With a soft groan about his thoughts and the way he really managed to make everything about _Julian_ right now, Danny got another big spoon full of ice cream, looking down for a second to make sure he’d get a chunk of cookie dough with it, before looking up again and _choking_.

Julian was right fucking there. Winking at him with a smug smirk. 

Somehow while Danny hadn’t looked at the screen, Julian had turned around and sat on the bed, back leaned against an array of pillows to support him, legs obscenely spread, briefs tightly spanned over a delicious looking bulge. Julian brushed one hand through his hair, pushing it back before sighing deeply again and Danny was still coughing. 

While Danny tried not to suffocate and to keep himself from spitting ice cream all over the bed, Julian was moving gracefully on screen, his free hand moving down his chest and torso, lower and even lower until Danny finally managed to swallow the food in his mouth and was able to reach out to throw the laptop shut with a loud snap.

His heart and mind racing, Danny shoved the device away from himself, to the opposite end of the bed and shook his head in disbelief and panic.

This was unreal.


	7. Cream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there everyone :)  
> I am still sorry about how I ended the last chapter (no I'm not) so I decided it was about time for a treat (that's true actually). This chapter is long.... I just can't cut myself short. I hope that's something you can enjoy.
> 
> Next week you'll get more of Jules' view (AHHHH! Yes, that means SubwayWolf will be visiting again next week and I already know all the secrets and LOVE THEM. You'll love it too, so stay tuned ;)) but I needed to stay with Danny for a bit longer. Poor thing and his confused feelings.
> 
> Have fun reading <3

The night before, it had taken Danny about twenty minutes to find the courage in himself to open up his laptop again and close the website. He had done it without throwing another look at Julian smiling seductively into the camera lens. It still felt surreal and Danny had ignored every message he had gotten from Rob since yesterday.

He had put his phone on silent before sulking through the rest of his Ben & Jerry’s instead of facing the awkward conversation that Rob would’ve invoked. Danny had not been ready to talk about Julian in the first place and the video had just made it so much worse.

Going to sleep with a troubled head had always been harsh on Danny. For a while, meditation had been his go-to solution, but after long days of work he mostly lacked the patience to sit down and try to focus by now. He knew a lot of people just scheduled a few minutes each day for themselves, most of them taking the time to concentrate right after waking up, but Danny couldn’t do the same. Waking up was a fight for him, whether he’d had a good long night of sleep or one filled with insomnia or nightmares. Danny knew he was pretty much useless when it came to cognitive challenges in the morning. At least until he had had some breakfast, water on his face, and something to drink.

Fortunately nightmares had avoided Danny for a while now but insomnia had decided to pay a visit last night. He had needed over two hours to finally fall asleep. A night full of restlessness, small periods in which he would wake up and softly curse under his breath, and outstretched annoying searches for the right position to lie in had followed.

Rarely ever before had Danny felt like he needed someone the way he had last night. For a few times he had even contemplated calling Rob just to get someone on the phone, or maybe convince him to meet and just hug. But Danny had fallen asleep again every time before he had actually been able to go through with his plan. In retrospect, he was relieved about that.

Danny loved Rob but he liked to keep his weaknesses to himself and had not been and still was not in the mood to talk about Julian. He did understand his friends. Probably if Zack or Gronk had a crush and Danny would get his hands on porn from whomever they were crushing on, he would tell them about it as well. Maybe his intention would be to spare his friends the surprise of finding out their special someone might be an actor or actress for the adult entertainment industry, as Rob liked to call it, but he would still do it. And he appreciated their care even if it had been Rob being proud of Zack for finding something Danny might want to have fun with.

Maybe it would’ve been different if Danny had not still been able to feel Julian’s lips on his own.

Nevertheless, right now Danny was mostly tired. He’d arrived at the café half an hour ago and knew his employees were about to come in as well. Once every two months, mostly on Saturday mornings, they would all meet up at the café to properly get it in order again.  
Of course, Danny made sure that the place was always clean and tidied up. But there were things in day-to-day life that had to be left out due to the lack of time. Like checking the underside of every table and chair in the sale room, checking all cushions to identify small signs of a future need for a repair before holes appeared, cleaning out the corners of every cupboard, and completely cleaning out the fridges and freezers as well.

Everybody had their task assigned on these mornings since things had to move fast. They postponed the usual opening of the café for about an hour to make it not too early for themselves but everybody still had to come in an hour earlier than the opening shift. 

This of course meant Danny was in even earlier than that. His field of duty was to clear out the shelves and cupboards in the kitchen and the café. He would clear them out and properly clean them before putting everything back in its place. It was not only about the dust that could settle behind things you didn’t constantly need. The far more important task was to make sure that there would never accidentally be ingredients around that were over their expiration date.

It was tedious work but Danny liked it. It was something he could do on his own and something with which he could take away pressure from the rest of his team. Handling the dishes and glass containers for about two to three hours was nerve-wrecking for any employee. If Danny broke something it was fine. Even though he was not one of the bosses who would scream at their employees if they dropped a cup, he knew that especially the girls would feel horrible for breaking something. So he handled these things himself.

Rob and Zack usually teamed up on cleaning and reorganizing the fridges and freezers. They were a good team and really good at working fast which was important considering they had to make sure that the cold chain didn’t get interrupted for too long. When Danny and his Gran had renovated the café they had thought about putting in a cold storage room but since the building was old, their surveyor had dissuaded them from doing so. Sam and Heather were responsible for checking the furniture. They had an eye for the smallest details and Heather loved sewing in her free time so she could usually fix any small signs of scuff by herself. They were a well-oiled team.

With a small sigh, Danny pulled open the next drawer in the kitchen and rolled his shoulders to make them feel less tensed. He had no idea how he’d react once the others were here. He was really not in the mood for joyful chatter and it was probably for the best that he was working alone. Finding a way to tell Rob that he wasn’t going to comment on Zack’s findings could get to be the biggest challenge.

Right as he started clearing out the shelf in front of him, he heard the door being unlocked and pulled open. For a second Danny closed his eyes and took a calming breath. He was still the boss, he needed to be professional.

He could hear Zack and the girls talking over each other while quick thumps of probably Rob’s footsteps jogging through the café came closer. It was obvious that everybody had tried to hold back Rob or make act him more careful – so they probably had already talked about Danny, a fact that was not the way he wanted things to be – but that’s not how Gronk worked and Danny knew it.

Within seconds, the tall frame practically jumped into the kitchen and came to a sliding halt in front of Danny before pulling him close and holding him in a bear hug. “I’m so so so sorry. Really, I really thought you’d like what I sent you, you didn’t answer me at all anymore, why didn’t you look at your phone, I’m sorry, I wanted to make you laugh at it or, fuck, I don’t know, jerk off, or whatever, but gosh, please still like me, Danny, please!!” Rob’s voice sounded more desperate than Danny had ever imagined he could be. 

Everything about this situation reminded him of a puppy that knew it had done something wrong but had no idea what it was or how to fix it so it went for the best way it could think of: showering the object of their guilt with love.

With a sigh, Danny wrapped his arms around Rob even though he usually didn’t like physical closeness while being upset. But no one could actually push away Rob, neither physically nor emotionally. “It’s alright, Rob. I know you didn’t want to upset me. It was bad timing and I didn’t want to talk to anyone last night. Of course I still like you.” Danny said while he carefully petted his hand on Rob’s shoulder. He felt a little crushed by the pair of strong arms wrapping closer and closer around him but as he talked Rob seemed to already relax a little.

“I’m sorry, I just saw it and I remembered you went to meet Julian and I just … I don’t know.” Rob mumbled again, wrinkling his nose and looking seriously displeased with himself.

“It’s alright.” Danny’s voice was stern but he seriously tried to stop Rob from worrying. His friendship and love for Rob wouldn’t be changed by something minor like this but he wouldn’t talk about anything that had happened yesterday.

“How did your meeting go?” – Of course Rob decided to interrupt his thoughts with exactly that kind of question.

Danny wrinkled his nose slightly and drew back out of the embrace looking a Rob before throwing a short glance over at his other employees waiting. “I’m not in the mood to talk about it,” Danny clarified before supporting his words with a nod. “Now if everyone could start working, that would be great, because we are open in two hours and I see quite a lot of work left for all of you.”

The girls saluted and went off immediately, Zack’s eyes lingered on him for a few seconds before he nodded and went off to get rid of his jacket as well. Only Rob stayed longer, looking at Danny. Of course Rob and Zack knew that not talking about it was not Danny’s usual behavior. But they had to deal with it.

“Alright fine…” Rob mumbled. While it was obvious how hard it was for him to give in like this,  
relief washed over Danny. He wasn’t sure how long he would’ve been able to actually put on a straight face and display a strong posture. He was tired and still felt like crying whenever he heard Julian’s name because since the first shock subsided all that was left was his heart aching and clenching whenever he thought of what he might’ve destroyed.

It took Danny almost an hour to get through everything in the kitchen before he could switch to the sale room. He was glad everybody was working and listening to the radio they had put on instead of questioning him. 

By the time he had worked his way through almost all the shelves in the café, though, he realized Sam and Heather were no longer in sight. Confused, Danny furrowed his brow. He could hear people moving around in the kitchen but he didn’t know what they were doing. He decided to give them a few more minutes before he’d go to check on them, but in the end he didn’t have to wait that long.

“Danny!” Rob exclaimed as all four of them stepped out of the kitchen, Sam carrying a tray of big glasses.

“We found ice cream that had its expiration date yesterday so… it needed to go,” Zack explained and while Danny looked at him he knew he was telling the truth but he also knew they were doing this for him.

“Exactly, so everything is for the greater good and no one’s taking advantage of the shop or anything but… milkshakes!” Rob grinned again and took one of the glasses to hold it up like a trophy. “We put oreos and chocolate stuff in there as well like real chefs,” Gronk teased and it was far too easy to see that he was still worried about Danny and wanted to make him smile and get excited.

For a few more seconds Danny just looked at his friends before he sighed and nodded. “Alright, fine… you win.” He gave in before chuckling and stepping off the small ladder he had used to clean up higher shelves. Danny walked over taking the glass that Rob offered him. It was nice to see that they were worried about him and cared.

“So just to make this clear, you don’t have to talk, but you know… if you need to,” Rob tried before sighing a bit helplessly. “I… We just wanna know you are okay and see you smile again.” He pleaded then and Danny chuckled. He wasn’t ready to explain the details but it was okay to smile around his friends.

* * *

Over the course of the next few days, Danny didn’t see Julian and working at the café suddenly felt like he had never existed. Danny’s heart still clenched whenever he heard the doorbell ring and somebody other than Julian stepped inside. Part of his mind was still in shock about what had happened. Sometimes Danny had to make sure he wouldn’t tear up in front of his customers. Especially whenever the radio played a particularly sweet or longing love song. Danny had always been a sucker for those.

When _Time of my Life_ came on at one point, Danny had to leave the sale room for a few minutes just to make sure he could keep his head in order. As much as Rob, Zack and the girls were trying to help him and get him to talk, he wouldn’t. Danny wasn’t even sure if he would ever be able to discuss what exactly happened during the smoothie date.

Even with all the guilt and pain Danny always made sure to keep a small container of almond milk in the mini fridge beneath the counter. Whenever he started to fear that it might get too close to its expiration date, Danny bought a new one and took the old one home with himself to put the milk into his own coffee. He had never had almond milk before but he couldn’t let it go to waste and he started liking it more the more he missed Julian.

As if the bold cocktail of anger, guilt, fear, longing, desperation and hope inside of Danny’s chest and head wasn’t already enough to take on, something else kept pushing itself into the center of attention as well: Lust.

The few seconds Danny had seen of that video Rob had sent him kept replaying inside his mind at random moments during the day, and whenever Danny got a mental glimpse at Julian’s well-muscled thighs or the perfect round and firm shape of his bum he blushed and the blood inside his body started boiling. He truly tried to forget but it was barely possible.

All Danny managed to do every time was to push the thoughts away and concentrate on the fact that he had managed to fuck it up. That he didn’t deserve the sight since he rejected it and that Julian didn’t deserve him if he had actually rejected Danny or tried to use him.

It got harder and harder to convince himself of these arguments though. Usually Danny wasn’t among the guys who claimed that masturbation was something they constantly needed. He liked to use pleasuring himself as a time-out once in a while, as a reward or a well working method to relax himself. But he didn’t feel like a slave to some kind of weird constant sexual craving.

Nevertheless, during the last few days he had been constantly torn between the temptation Julian represented, the fact that there was actually something just in reach for Danny to look at if he wanted to, and the hesitation and shame that surged up every time he threw a careful look at his laptop from across the room.

His emotions kept boiling in a dangerous mixture that made Danny feel like he was on edge for most of each day. It was a weird feeling, constantly switching moods and longing for something, anything really, to ease him, especially once he managed to get through the day and reached his shower in the evening.

When he was all by himself and no work was distracting him anymore his mind would run wild, his brain would kick off waves of hormones and dive right into every dirty, dark corner of Danny’s mind it could find. The result of it was that once Danny started to spread shower gel over his body, his skin would start to tingle and his fantasy would rush him to a wide variety of nice places to be.

The first time, it had thrown him right back into the gym showers with Julian, imagining how it would have felt to go over and fall onto his knees in front of the other one, putting his hands on Julian’s hips and sucking his length right into his mouth. The possibility of someone walking in on them and the pure idea of Julian’s hands burying in his hair to draw him close mercilessly had made Danny’s knees go weak. 

The next time, he’d imagined how he could’ve sucked the fruit from Julian’s fingers in his kitchen. How easy it would’ve been to keep eye contact while his tongue would have played with sensitive fingertips, teasing Julian up to a point where he would pin Danny against the wall, kiss him passionately and force one of his legs between Danny’s to rile him up.

Julian bending him over the kitchen table, fingering him open with two fingers, spreading them in a scissoring motion, not stopping his effort until Danny would be a babbling, crying and whining mess in front of him, begging to be fucked.

Julian thrusting into him on that pretty couch in his flat until Danny would come all over himself, making a mess over his own tummy. Julian adding his own cum to the mix, moaning and throwing his head back all prettily in front of Danny before smirking teasingly and gathering up some of the mess they made to offer it to Danny’s lips.

Julian praising him, Julian talking dirty, Julian, Julian, Julian.

Each time Danny had turned the water cold immediately and groaned, holding his head beneath the stream until it felt like it would freeze off. The tendency to fantasize about situations where Julian would take control and punish him stayed with him and made him feel more and more ashamed of himself. He was invading Julian’s privacy and he hated himself for being weak. The fact that his fantasy tried to cope with the guilt by adding punishing control just made it worse. Constantly cutting off the blood rushing into his dick didn’t really help with his feelings either, only got the desperation for anything to soothe his nerves and hunger to increase dramatically.

A few days later, Danny couldn’t take it anymore. His mind was constantly circulating around Jules, his skin felt tingly and he knew he was snappy whenever one of his employees asked him something that he would usually handle with a lot more patience. He had seen the looks the others had given him and he knew he had to do _something_ about the current situation.

It annoyed him to no end that he had to be in this weird fight with himself about what he wanted but didn’t want to grant himself to keep his dignity. And he was done discussing and feeling ashamed. Before he even knew it Danny found himself in a pair of his favorite sweatpants, on the bed with his laptop right next to him waiting for the stupid browser to open up.

About a minute later, Julian’s thighs were right there on screen, Danny thanking the internet gods for high-quality videos that still looked amazing once you put them on full screen. He leaned back, biting his lower lip and nervously playing with the fabric of his pants, still feeling weirdly ashamed of himself even though nobody was going to know.

Jules moved, and Danny couldn’t take his eyes off the screen, groaning softly once the other man turned around and his ass was up and perfect. Danny’s fingers dug into the fabric of his waistband when Jules sat down and smiled all seductively at him and never before had Danny felt this inclined to a video like this. It actually felt like Jules was right there for him, only had eyes for him.

Danny swallowed and watched as Julian sat down and started caressing over his chest, dipping one of his hands down just for a short moment to cup his crotch, before moving up again. He was the perfect image of sensual pleasure and sin.

And Danny couldn’t resist. He felt his own legs fall apart on their own account and moved one hand to caress over his chest before following Jules example and placing his fingers over the slowly growing bulge in his pants. He liked the feeling of separation between his fingers and his skin for the start but judging by how itchy, anxious and desperate he was, he knew he wouldn’t have the patience to keep them on for much longer. For now, though, he could use their help to control himself.

Jules was moving gracefully on the screen. His legs were bent, knees falling open beautifully, giving Danny a perfect angle to see Julian’s length becoming apparent beneath the tight fabric of his briefs.

“Eyes are up here, sweetheart.” Julian’s voice purred through the speakers and Danny’s gaze shot up while he blushed. No matter how pathetic it was, hearing Julian gave this a new depth. It made it almost too real.

Without any sign of hesitation Julian’s hand moved down his body again, slipping beneath the fabric of his underwear and giving Danny a hint of what he was doing but not showing off too much yet.

Danny whined slightly. He was desperate, didn’t Julian know? Obviously he didn’t but Danny _had_ been waiting long enough. His whole body was hot, his skin prickled and his length was already straining against his sweatpants impatiently. Danny didn’t know why he was more or less mirroring Julian’s actions, but it felt good. He followed the guidance and slipped his right hand beneath the waistband to curl his fingers around himself as well.

“Already impatient, hm?” Julian’s voice sounded thick and slightly breathless already. His tone was mocking and self-confident as well.

Danny shivered and bit onto his lip. He hadn’t expected Jules to talk at all. Had expected a few sighs, maybe a moan. But this was better and so much dirtier. The voice and the words struck a chord inside of him that replaced his own stupid thoughts and worries with a blank canvas, one that only held space for Julian.’

While Danny could see the fabric of Julian’s briefs move slightly as they got stretched by his knuckles moving beneath them, Jules’ second hand snuck into his focus. The index finger made a soft curling motion luring Danny to concentrate on it instead of what was going on in the background.

“You better not be touching yourself.” Danny had not considered it possible but Julian’s voice sounded even heavier. He followed the teasing finger up until he was back at looking at Julian’s face. “You don’t wanna get too far ahead considering what I have in store for you.” Seductive, in control, Danny bit his lip again but reacted to the soft spoken words and drew back his hand, placing it on the sheets next to him.

“Hnm…” Danny’s voice was soft as he squirmed slightly. His cock certainly was not too happy about the sudden loss of attention. Danny had never been good at keeping quiet once pleasure clouded his mind.

Julian seemed to feel the same way or at least he knew how good it looked and sounded on camera if he made even the slightest bit of pleasure concrete by a soft muffled sigh. Smiling into the camera again, Jules moved his left hand, hooking it into the waistband of his briefs but not pulling them down just yet. “You think you’ve waited long enough, huh?” Julian teased slightly while he pulled the fabric down about an inch, revealing more of his ivory skin. “Wanna see my dick?” 

Danny’s mouth went dry. His mind agreed, the small voice at the back feeling ashamed went completely unheard. “Yes…” Danny mumbled. He had gotten a glimpse of Julian’s length before. But it had only been for a second in the showers at the gym and it had not been _enough_. He squirmed slightly, his hands fisting into the sheets next to him.

“Wanna get me completely naked, too? Bet you’d love to look at my ass.” Julian slightly tilted his head before closing his eyes and sighing deeply with his mouth hanging open slightly. “Want me turn around and prop it up for you?” His voice sounded more distant with the way his thumb was obviously drawing circles into the tip of his length. “Not yet, though,” he mumbled. “At least not the part you _really_ want.”

With those words, Jules pulled down his briefs slowly but moved during the process so he sat up more properly and his bum was completely hidden by his own body and the pillows around him. Danny groaned helplessly, digging his teeth into his lip and swallowing while his eyes dove down to focus on Julian’s length. He was curious and he blushed slightly as Jules moved his hand off of his length, displaying it perfectly.

Not only was he talking like he could hear and see Danny perfectly, he was acting like it as well. A shiver ran down Danny’s spine as Julian sank back, relaxed, leisurely caressing his fingertips along his length.

“Nice, isn’t it? Too bad you can’t get your pretty mouth around it. Would fit you well.” The voice was mocking again, and far too close to what Danny had fucking fantasized about for what felt like an eternity.

A soft moan falling from Julian’s lips slapped him back into reality. Danny had to agree. As far beauty could go with a cock, Julian’s length was appealing. The size was good and the thickness made Danny’s mouth water. Julian was circumcised and Danny wondered if he would’ve ever gotten the chance to find out about this himself.

Danny shook his head and blinked to erase distracting thoughts. He let his eyes rest on Julian’s cock and the way one of his fingertips was still only carefully dancing around it. Jules probably had known damn well what anyone watching would concentrate on and for a second Danny’s shame was back. He tended to over-think, he knew that. He wrinkled his nose helplessly.  
A deep sigh leaving Julian’s lips helped Danny to focus again. He looked at Jules’ face and mirrored the soft sound when he saw how the other man’s lips were still slightly opened and shining perfectly. Danny’s own cock would fit between those pretty well, too.

Danny shivered at the thought crossing his mind, feeling his cock jump slightly in interest, tenting the fabric of his pants even more. They were uncomfortable so he moved, hooking his fingers into the waistband and pulling them down. Jules’ briefs were gone too and Danny might as well even the odds.

On the screen, Julian had started moving again. He was obviously done showcasing his dick and instead curled his fingers around it properly. He started a gentle rhythm, letting his head fall back against the headboard of the bed, relaxed.

Danny shivered again. His gaze was glued to Julian’s face, watching his expressions change between being at ease and slight surges of pleasure. He was beautiful, biting his lip and wrinkling his forehead whenever he let his fingers move in particularly good way. Danny wished he could be the one making him look like that.

Lust and longing mixed in Danny’s head and made his hand slightly shake once he caressed over his thigh. He still felt like Jules’ words from before were holding him back. It felt like he was waiting for permission but it got harder and harder to be patient.

“Hnn..”, Julian moaned softly while he changed the moving of his hand, made it faster and obviously used more pressure on his fingers. He sometimes flicked his thumb over the tip in a random pattern and Danny shivered once he saw that Jules’ glans started to glisten.

Just when Danny was sure he wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to touch himself anymore, Jules eyes flew open and he smirked directly into the camera. “Touch yourself.” His voice was far clearer than Danny had thought it would be. “Need you nice and ready for me…” In absolute contradiction to the self-confidence and mocking Jules had displayed before, right now his voice had dropped to a low and soft tone, alluring and dangerous.

Danny swallowed but leaned back against his pillows. His cheeks were rose-colored while his fingers moved down over his tummy and brushed through the trail of dark hair leading towards his length. His gaze was still fixed on Julian while he took himself in his hand and slowly started moving his fingers. It was easy to fall into a rhythm that matched the way he was feeling, it was difficult though not to just close his eyes and relax into the tension building. He’d been desperate for days; he wanted, _needed_ to feel more, to touch himself more demandingly in all the ways he knew he loved.

But he held himself back and kept his eyes open so he wouldn’t miss a second of Julian. The situation felt surreal again, with lust clouding his mind it was almost as if Jules was sitting on the bed with him.

On screen, Jules resolved the grip on himself carefully obviously trying to catch his breath. “Time to spice things up a bit, don’t you think?” he asked with a voice that sounded breathy and hot.

Danny swallowed. Good thing he hadn’t known about this when he had actually seen Julian every day or he would’ve never been able to look at him without blushing or getting weak. Jules’ voice washed over him with gentle warmth and made his skin shiver, gave him goosebumps.

He didn’t even realize he was nodding softly until he felt his head brush against the headboard. Jules had him wrapped around his finger; he’d had him that way basically since they first met.

On screen, Julian brushed his hands over his body, caressing the abs that made Danny dizzy and teasingly pinched both nipples, gasping at the softly-induced pain. Jules reached out for something but kept it out of the frame before he winked at the camera and moved to sit up properly. He brushed his hair out of his eyes before easily turning around to show off his perfect ass.

Danny’s eyes immediately focused on the firm flesh and a soft whine escaped his throat. It was hard not to long for a chance to reach out and touch Jules. It was not only the fact that his ass looked that damn kissable it was all about him, the strong thighs, the back.

Another soft moan left Danny’s lips as he watched Jules being a tease, moving in a way that his face was still in the frame, his hair falling over his forehead slightly. He looked good on all fours. Far too good. Danny swallowed again, forcing himself to slow down his touch. He wouldn’t let himself release before this was over. It was agony.

“Like what you see?” Julian sounded soft. He moved one of his hands visibly to catch his length again. A helpless sigh fell from his lips as the elbow that kept him upright trembled slightly.

Danny wasn’t sure how much biting his lip would be able to take before he would hurt it but he couldn’t stop. He was going wild, just wanted to be there, right there where the camera was placed. He wanted to grab firm flesh and lick Julian open, he wanted to kiss all over his thighs, touch him, fuck him, use him.

The fingers of Danny’s left hand dug into the sheets, while his right hand had changed to caressing at a leisurely pace. His body was still shivering and the tension building up in his groin almost hurt. His balls felt heavy and his cock was aching to be touched.

When Julian stopped touching himself again, Danny groaned softly in frustration. Part of him had been pretty sure Jules would just stay like that, jerk off in a way that would make everybody appreciate the curve of his ass before coming all over the sheets. Instead though, Danny could see a bottle of lube and had to grip himself right at the base. Julian wouldn’t… or would he?

Apparently he would. Danny’s mouth fell open once Julian coated his fingers with lube before relying on his left arm again while the right bent beautifully. He caressed his index finger between his cheeks, not hesitating at all before pushing inside and gasping audibly into the sheets. He had to have gotten himself prepared before the video and Danny blushed at the imagination of Jules coaxing himself open all on his own.

Things happened fast then. Before Danny actually knew what was going on, Julian had two fingers buried inside himself, moving them in and out easily, moaning each time he pushed them inside and his hips rolled up against the intrusion.

Danny’s mouth felt dry and his hand trembled slightly while he placed it back onto the sheets. He was too far on edge to touch himself. He was breathing heavily and all he wanted to do was have this. Have Jules like this. In front of him. On his knees, moaning that prettily. He knew he couldn’t, but this was good enough right now. 

Jules gasped at one specific movement of his fingers and drew them back then, reaching for something else. Danny blinked and felt his insides knot together before his heart rate sped up again and tension rose. It was a toy. One damn pretty toy. The color was a gradient from lilac to pink, it was nicely shaped, soft waves incorporated into the toy. It didn’t try to look like a dick, it was just designed to look nice and, as Danny could imagine, feel good. Fortunately it wasn’t all too big either. It looked like it could actually be a favorite instead of some prop specifically for porn. Danny enjoyed that. He liked things to stay within reason and wanted Jules to enjoy this, not to hurt himself.

Once the pink color glistened with lube, Jules moved to get himself comfortable. He was breathing heavily, a sound that Danny was sure he wouldn’t be able to forget for a while. “See, that’s what I needed you for.” Julian sounded husky while he moved the toy so it would caress along his rim, as he spread his legs a bit more. “Needed someone to fill me up good,” he breathed out before pushing the toy inside.

Julian moaned. And Danny forgot about how he hadn’t wanted to forget about the heavy breathing. The moaning was what he wanted to listen to for the rest of his life.

Danny properly whined once the toy was almost completely disappeared. He felt weirdly empty inside and helplessly turned on. His cock was leaking by now, shiny beads of precum gathering on his tip before running down his length. With another soft whimper he separated his right hand from the sheets and gripped himself instead. He started moving his fingers, moaning softly, sinking deeper into the pillows. His cheeks were red and so were Julian’s.

Julian was moving the toy like an actual fucking porn star, obviously enjoying himself. His moans seemed incredibly loud in the empty bedroom and Danny loved them, wanted to hear more. His gaze kept switching between watching the toy disappear and watching Julian’s face change from concentration to bliss and back again. Beautiful.

Danny’s head swam, his fingers were moving more or less controlled by his subconsciousness now. He was so close already, so close he could almost taste it.

Julian whined once the toy seemed to be angled perfectly. He had decided to stop talking, was only communicating by broken moans and heavy breathing. He groaned slightly and moved again, whining as he turned around to lie on his back with the toy still inside. Danny heard his blood rush in his ears.

Julian kept moving his hand then but also curled the free one around his cock and jerking himself off with a new notch of demand in his movements. Danny moaned again, watching him. He wanted to wait, he wanted to hold on torturing himself and pushing as close to the edge as possible with all the movements he loved. But when Julian’s face moved to concentration again, barely repressing a broken moan before his mouth fell open and he shot cum all over himself, Danny broke.

White faded up his vision when all his desire and desperation climaxed, ripping his orgasm from him in a way that he made his ears ring and his body tremble harshly. His skin prickled, he was on a high. His breathing was heavy and helpless, in unison with Julian’s right before the video cut off.

Jules was gone. He was alone. Again.


	8. Drinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone :)   
> Here you go with the new chapter, it was written by SubwayWolf again which means it's Jules' PoV and all his great work! ♥ I hope everyone enjoys it, because I really liked it. 
> 
> Also: He finished this chapter before I finished the one you read last week, which means the amazing ending was his idea and I forged the last chapter's ending to fit his ;) 
> 
> Have fun everyone!

Julian had been planning that afternoon in his head almost constantly since Danny had showed interest at the gym. Even though he was inviting Danny over just to hang out platonically, it had taken so much courage to ask. Julian had typed out the text and read it over a dozen times to make sure all punctuation and spelling were correct, something he usually never did. Then he spent another few minutes building up the courage to simply use his thumb to tap send. 

Looking back, he didn’t even know what he had expected. The rest of it happened fast. Danny said yes, and then he came over, and he looked cute and smelled good and smiled so sweetly, and soon Julian felt all nervousness wash away from him and it was all about having fun. Then it was a blur and all Julian could remember thinking about was how sweet Danny’s lips must have tasted, and he made a move. 

Acting on impulse had gotten him into trouble before, but this was different. It wasn’t even about Danny leaving, or saying he couldn’t do this. Those things were okay and understandable; everything was happening fast, and for god’s sake – Danny already _had_ a boyfriend! A big, strong one. Jules probably should have been fearing for his life but at this point he was okay with being beaten up. He definitely deserved it.

But the fear of Gronk’s retaliation wasn’t the worst thing about this, either. No, the worst thing was the fact that Julian had just outright assumed how Danny felt, and that he’d kissed him with no consent at all.

He felt so bad. He felt like he had hurt Danny by taking advantage of him like that. He felt guilty and downright disgusted with himself. He should have asked, or… or waited for Danny to lean in, or _something_. But no, Julian had to act like a prick, and in the process ruin the best thing going on for him in his life right now.

Even amidst the regret, Jules still couldn’t push the kiss out of his mind no matter what happened. It wasn’t what he should have been focusing on but he couldn’t stop. He kept thinking about how soft Danny’s lips were, how sweet… Did Danny even kiss him back? Jules didn’t trust his own memory anymore.

It had been three full days since the date had happened. Jules went to work and went through the motions of each day, still feeling tired and unenergetic. It was a kind of tired that sleep couldn’t fix; not like he was getting much of it anyway.

To cope so far, he’d done a lot of sulking. He’d paced around his living room, cursing under his breath for god knows how long. He took a shower and turned the water up extra hot so the heavy steam in the air made it hard to breathe. He laid in bed, not even bothering to put on clothes or dry himself off, and put his head under the covers and thought about Danny, and then dreamed about Danny, and then woke up and was thinking about Danny again. He didn’t even have an appetite when he woke up. The mere thought of a breakfast smoothie or, god forbid, a fresh cup of coffee, made him sick to his stomach.

Now he was drinking. Alone, in his own apartment. It was his last resort, of course. But it had guaranteed results.

Julian had seen countless movies where people drank alcohol to forget their problems, but it turned out that was a myth and that movies had lied to him again. He still remembered every single one of his problems, except now he felt sick and dizzy along with guilty and sad. So nobody was winning in this situation, especially not his liver. 

His phone buzzed in his coat pocket from across the room. He realized it had been forever since he’d checked it. If there was any hope that the messages were from Danny, Jules would have already checked them, but there was no hope for that at all.

Unsurprisingly, they were from Tom, each evenly spaced apart time-wise over the past couple of days. There were missed calls, too, and some voice messages, all from Tom. Luckily Jules had known better than to get his hopes up. 

_(+617) Tom: how is your evening going?_

What, Tom had wanted a progress report? That text was sent while the smoothie date – platonic date – was still going on. The next, a few hours later.

_(+617) Tom: you aren’t responding so I guess it’s going really well or really badly_

Tom had definitely been right about one of those options. The next few texts were spread out at different periods of time over the course of the past few days.

_(+617) Tom: how did it go last night?_

_(+617) Tom: are you okay? please respond. i’m getting concerned._

_(+617) Tom: your father confirmed that you’re still alive because you’re showing up to work but he says you’re acting strange. Is something wrong? what happened? you know you can tell me. I am always here for you_

_(+617) Tom: talk to me julian._

_(+617) Tom: please call me when you can._

Jules felt strange. Something about the fact that those commands came from Tom made him inclined to follow them without question, but instead he put the phone down and started to think hard about this.

First, he thought: Tom needed to hear everything. Jules wanted to go to him and drink with him and cry to him. He wanted to let out every single word he was holding inside himself. But most of all, he just wanted to be with him. Maybe Tom would hold him, maybe Tom would kiss him… Julian would be so grateful for the distraction. 

Then, he paused, and thought harder. Kissing him, holding him, drinking with him… that’s what Tom wanted to happen. Not to take advantage of him, of course not. But Jules knew himself, he knew that he’d latch on to Tom at a time like this. It was easy. Tom was there, he cared and would always show it. The reasons for that were obvious, but at times like these, it stopped mattering – but it _shouldn’t_ stop mattering. 

Moving on from Danny so fast, or at least using Tom to cope, was probably the emotionally smart thing to do, and it was definitely the easiest thing. Jules wondered how long, and after how many drinks, he could keep himself alone in his own apartment when Tom was available as an option.

He was still staring at his phone when another message popped up at the bottom of the screen. Tom again.

_(+617) Tom: come over._

Jules wanted to pause and think. He wanted to stop himself. But he was shrugging a coat over his shoulders and grabbing his wallet and keys before a coherent thought could even pass through his head.

Maybe the movies weren’t lying. Perhaps drinking didn’t aid in forgetting problems, it just aided in the making of stupid decisions and new distractions to replace the old ones.

* * *

Aside from the blurriness in his vision, the only thing unusual that Julian was capable of noticing was how cold the right side of his face was. He was inside the elevator of Tom’s apartment complex, leaning with all his weight against the wall, his cheek pressed up against the cool metal, making gross smudges on it that he was too lazy to clean off. Oh, and the dizziness – he noticed that too. It was hard not to. 

The door opened at the top floor; the twelfth floor. It took him a moment to realize he had arrived. The door almost closed again before he came to his senses and lunged forward and put a hand between the doors to stop them from closing. He almost stumbled forward and fell on his face but managed to stay upright, then walked to the end of the hallway to Tom’s apartment.

He got to the front door and pressed the buzzer for the security system which Tom had installed ages ago to ease his mild paranoia. Julian glanced up at the surveillance camera in the top corner of the hallway and lazily waved to it, knowing that Tom would be checking the feed.

Tom’s voice came through the intercom from the panel interface in front of Julian. “Good evening, Julian,” it said, static buzzing through the technology. “I’ll get the door for you. Give me a moment.” 

When the static cut out, Julian gave a thumbs up to the camera watching him. He continued to lean against the wall for support while he waited for the door to open for what seemed like a lifetime.

Tom finally opened the door for him and saw him leaning against the frame. Tom had his tan, double-breasted trenchcoat on as if he was about to leave. “I’m glad you came,” he said as he unbuttoned the coat with the hand that was not holding the door open. “I was just about to come by your place to make sure you were alright.” There was a pleasant smile on his face, showing that he was happy to see Julian. “Come inside.”

Julian tried not to move too fast in case he got a head rush. He entered the apartment and didn’t say a word. He was too focused on maintaining his balance.

Tom’s place was so nice, really; it was a duplex with a full kitchen, restroom, dining room, and living room on the main floor, and a spiral staircase leading up to the two bedrooms and second bathroom. All of the furniture was black and modern, the appliances stainless steel, the countertop jet black granite, and the place was all accented with pristine whites and greys. There was expensive minimalist art on the walls that he had gotten from fancy galleries he attended. Built into the back wall to the right of the entrance, in the living room, was a huge, heartwood wine rack compartmentalized in a diamond pattern, each of the compartments filled with at least a dozen bottles of wine or hard liquor each. And on the wall beside the front door was a massive fish tank built into the wall with six Black Moor goldfish which Tom hadn’t even named and Julian thought he just kept them for the aesthetic value. Outside was a full balcony complete with a gorgeous garden he cared for himself, a seating area and expensive grill for guest entertainment, and an infinity swimming pool he used to relax.

And the apartment was always clean, not a trace of dust in the place – Tom cleaned when he was stressed, even though his building hired a cleaning service; he just wasn’t the type to trust other people’s hands on his stuff. 

Julian caught a whiff of the apartment as he went inside near the kitchen. “Man, this place always smells lemony fresh,” he mumbled as he made his way inside. He went over to the kitchen counter by the barstools and pawed around for a seat. “Fuckin’ making me feel all dizzy…”

Tom let the door shut behind him. He approached Julian, not saying anything at first, then getting close to him and furrowing his brow. “Julian.” His tone was strict, almost dark.

All of a sudden, hearing his name hurt, because he’d gotten used to the sound of “Jules” coming out of Danny’s mouth, that hearing his full name from Tom’s make his brain skip like a record and his mood turn as sour as his breath must have been. “Thomas,” he muttered back, mocking his tone.

Tom stood beside where Jules was seated, towering above him. “Are you drunk?” he asked in a stern voice. Julian turned his head away, refusing to answer, but Tom didn’t need confirmation. “For god’s sake, Julian! You drove all the way out here, and-”

Julian raised finger in Tom’s direction and kept it in the air until Tom stopped talking. Then Julian promised, “I’m not drunk,” which was a lie not even worth telling.

“Yes you are,” Tom said through his teeth. “I can smell it on you, and you’re slurring your words.” He folded his arms like a disappointed parent. “I can’t believe you. You could have seriously hurt yourself or someone else. Why are you behaving so irresponsibly?”

Droopy-lidded, Julian looked at him. Tom had his coat off now, and he was wearing grey jeans and a striped blue dress shirt that was unbuttoned at the top to reveal a noticeable amount of bare chest… “Whatever,” Julian said, half-forgetting what they were talking about. He stood up from the bar stool and looked towards the back wall and started to move towards the collection of liquor. “I need a drink.”

He was stopped right in his tracks when Tom put an arm out preventing him from moving. Julian forgot how strong Tom was sometimes. “Stop right there,” Tom ordered. He wasn’t going to budge.

Julian pushed his hand away, scowling up at him. “Hands off, Brady.” He didn’t want to be touched, at least not in that way, and he didn’t want to get muscled away again, either, so he stood right in place, folded his arms, and looked away.

Tom put his hand down and let out a sigh. “Fine. We’ll talk about this later.” His eyes softened from angry to concerned, slowly, like ice melting. “I’m glad you’re here now, and that you’re safe.” He took a step closer, backing Julian up against the edge of the counter top, able to pin him if necessary. “Why is it you look so sad?”

Julian unfolded his arms, worried that Tom was picking up on details without hearing them first. “Doesn’t matter.” Tom was so close to him that Julian could feel his body heat just a reach away. But he didn’t know if he wanted it right now. He started to wonder why he even came.

“Of course it matters,” Tom rebutted, and his voice was getting quieter and softer as he moved closer. “Come here,” he said, even though Julian was trapped and couldn’t move. He leaned down, closer still. “I’ll take care of you now.”

Tom kissed him. And yes, it was Tom, holding him and leaning down to kiss him so softly and carefully, but Julian closed his eyes and all he could think of was Danny and how different he tasted and felt and smelled, and the second he remembered that this wasn’t Danny, he wanted to stop.

What was this? This was care. It wasn’t that Julian didn’t want it – he did, except he wanted it from Danny. But this was Tom, so he rejected it, no matter how much he needed it right now. What was he doing? Julian knew that he shouldn’t have come. He knew that this wasn’t what he wanted and that it wasn’t going to help him, not ever.

Tom’s arms were wrapped around him so Julian had to wriggle free but even so Tom stayed on him. So Julian pulled back from him until their lips came apart. Tom trailed and followed him for a moment before pulling back as well. Julian looked to the side. “No, Tom, I’m…” He didn’t know what to say or how to explain. “Just no. Not right now.”

Tom took the hint and gave Julian some space. He stepped back and released him. He looked genuinely hurt but did a good job of hiding it quickly. “What’s wrong?” he asked after a long moment. If Tom thought that something had to be wrong with Julian for him to deny a kiss, maybe he was unclear which of them was actually having a problem. “What happened to you? Was it that boy, from the coffee shop?”

This was so typical that Julian almost rolled his eyes. Of course Tom would blame whoever his current love interest happened to be. “He’s not a _boy_ ,” Julian corrected him, then corrected himself, “Well, I mean, he _is_ a boy, but…”

“Did he hurt you, Julian?” The tone he used made it seem like he was expecting Julian to lie, which only pissed him off even more.

Julian looked up at him, face twisted at the mere suggestion. “No, he didn’t hurt me, _Tom_.” He sounded like a kid, emphasizing his name like that, but right now he just hated the sound of his own name from Tom’s lips, he hated it so much.

Tom noticed Julian tensing up. He raised an eyebrow. “You _look_ hurt,” he stated matter-of-factly. It was true, and pretty much undeniable.

Still, Julian thought hard about a million ways to deny it until he sighed, relaxed his tense muscles, looked away and just said, “I’m fine, okay? I’m fine.”

Tom’s gaze was cold again. He thought Julian was lying to him, and Julian himself wasn’t even sure if he was or not. “Then why are you here?” He kept talking before Julian could stammer out an answer. “You would never come by just to say hello, or just for a drink, would you? No. You never do. You want more.”

Julian wiped the taste of Tom off his lips with the back of his hand. “I wanted someone to talk to about this, you prick.” Another complete lie, but it took saying it out loud to realize it was actually the truth. And it didn’t take much consideration for Julian to realize he wanted to leave, _now_.

But Tom was still blocking his path, and the dining table to one side with the kitchen counter to his other made it so there was nowhere to go. Tom folded his arms again. “You aren’t doing much talking,” he pointed out. “I know he hurt you, Julian.”

If it was no use fleeing, Julian felt that he might as well explain. “He didn’t.” He had to make this clear. He didn’t want anyone to think Danny did anything wrong. Danny probably hadn’t done anything wrong in his damn life.

“He did,” Tom rebutted, like he was trying to convince Julian of a truth that wasn’t there, which could have been easy with Julian in such a manipulable state. “I can see it in your eyes; you’re hurt.” Tom knew Julian better than anyone, so he was probably right.

Above everything, Julian had to make it clear that it wasn’t Danny’s fault. But his head hurt and he was dizzy and his words came out of his mouth slower than they came to his brain. “It was my fault-”

“Don’t tell yourself that,” Tom interrupted. He always had to be in control of the conversation, or of any situation. 

Julian felt frustration wash over him so hard that his fists clenched. “Just let me speak.” It was an order. He shouldn’t have to beg for something like that.

But Tom just kept on talking, like it was his story to tell. “Julian, if he hurt you, you should stay away from him. Make some space between the two of you. It seems that you’d be better off without him.”  
Julian almost started to laugh. It was like Tom wasn’t listening to a single word. “I just told you that he didn’t hurt me. You’re hearing what you want to hear.”

For just a millisecond, Tom’s expression shifted to surprise, like he was caught off guard. He paused, thinking about what Julian just said, then quickly denied it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He reached out and placed a hand on Julian’s shoulder near his neck, his touch light and careful. “Just calm down and listen to me for one second,” he said in a composed tone.

It seemed that telling Julian Edelman to calm down only got him more fired up. “You _do_ know what I’m talking about,” he fussed. He shifted his shoulder back so that Tom wasn’t touching him anymore. “And don’t touch me.”

Tom put his hand down. He remained composed and humorless. “I don’t need to know the details about what happened. I can see it with my own two eyes - you’re a mess right now because of him.” What audacity he had to accuse that, and even worse, “Maybe he isn’t worth it.”

Julian’s voice nearly broke when he declared, “He _is_ worth it!” The words came so fast to his mouth that he didn’t think about them first, or perhaps he didn’t even need to.

Tom was quiet for a few moments after that. He was tight-lipped and considering. It was hard to tell but Julian could have sworn his face lost a few shades of color. Tom eventually composed himself. He took a breath and began with his favorite phrase. “I think that-”

“I _know_ what you think.” It was Julian’s turn to interrupt. His throat was tight and he internally blamed the booze for getting him choked up. “It’s always the same. Think I’m not noticing the pattern? You convinced me to break up with Wes, you convinced me not to get serious with Malcom or Shane, you convinced me to turn Patrick down.” There were hot tears burning at the edges of his eyes, threatening to spill out any second. “All these years, all these different guys. And why? Because you think things can be how they used to be between us – but they can’t. You’re jealous, you’re disguising selfishness as care, and you’re denying me happiness because of it.” 

Tom had nothing to say now. It took a lot of strength for him to hold back a frown. “Julian…” he sighed as he reached a hand out to touch him again.

Julian recoiled away. “Will you stop fucking touching me!?” He was still fuming, his words like a hurricane, everything coming out at once. “It’s over, it’s never going to happen between us! You have to get the fuck over it and let me move on with my life!”

His voice practically echoed through the apartment. Tom wasn’t even looking at him anymore, just past him, at the dark of night outside on the unlit balcony, thinking hard. It took the pause and the silence for Julian to realize that he himself was crying. He was afraid that if he spoke again no words would come out, just sobs, so he held his breath until the tension was too much to bear. 

When Julian sighed at himself, it came out staggered and broken, and he had to speak carefully so his voice wouldn’t break. “Tom…” He then cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have said that.” All of it was true, but saying it aloud was a different story. Damn, it felt good though.

Tom smiled, but it was fake. “It’s okay,” he lied. Julian had never seen Tom cry, and didn’t expect to now, so it felt even worse to be crying in front of him, but Tom wasn’t saying a word about it. Tom looked away from him again. The smile went away. “Everything you said… you’re right.” He lifted a hand – almost touching him again, but reconsidering and letting it fall. “I’m sorry, Julian.”

It might have been simple, but that was really nice to hear. Julian was getting all choked up again. “You’re my best friend, Tom,” he promised, then felt like he needed to clarify, “I don’t hate you or anything.”  
This time when Tom smiled, it was genuine. “I know.” In the tone of his voice, he was confident to show that he had no doubt about it.

Julian blinked hard and the tears started to spill out his eyes and down his cheeks. He immediately brought his sleeve up to his eyes and started to wipe them dry so Tom couldn’t see. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. His throat was tight and he wanted to sob. “I need to leave.” 

“No,” Tom said, almost too quickly, but justified himself when he continued. “It isn’t safe for you to drive all the way home. You can sleep in my room, I’ll take the guest room.” His room was a great deal nicer and had a king-sized and soft, down blankets which Julian had spent his fair share time face-down in in the past. 

It was certainly a nice suggestion, and Julian figured he didn’t have much of a choice in the matter anyway. “Okay,” he said with a sigh, “I’ll stay.” There was a twist in his gut. He spoke before he could stop himself. “I don’t want to be alone.”

Tom paused, like that was the last thing he was expecting. “Okay,” he answered.

Climbing up the spiral staircase was surprisingly difficult, almost like Julian had forgotten he was drunk and how badly it incapacitated him. He wasn’t followed up there. The lights in Tom’s room were off and his bed was flawlessly made. Julian kicked his shoes off and pulled his shirt off over his head and threw the covers off the bed and buried himself inside.

He wanted to just close his eyes and sleep but he just couldn’t. His body was begging him to cry. He could feel pain in his chest and throat and his eyes were practically burning with the hot tears, but he wouldn’t let himself cry. He had to keep at least some dignity. What would Danny think if he saw Julian like this? He’d probably call him pathetic, or a loser, or… okay, maybe he wouldn’t say any of that, but still.

He wasn’t exactly sure how much time passed but some time later he felt the weight on the bed shift and Tom lay down beside him. He didn’t touch him, just laid there, close enough to share warmth and be close. Tom had to check up on him anyway to make sure he didn’t get sick, but the feeling of a warm body beside him just made Julian cry, for real this time, and hard. It just felt really good not to be alone, and he was drunk so his emotions were erratic to begin with, and he was fucking _sobbing_ there on the bed, buried almost entirely under the covers and probably crying a gross mess of tears and snot into the pillow he was hugging.

Julian fell asleep at some point and woke up the next morning with a disgusting taste in his mouth and a dull, dizzy headache behind his eyes. But the worst out of all of that was that he woke up alone. Again.


	9. Cupcake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody!
> 
> Here you go with the new chapter for this week :) and just to slowly ease you towards it: this fic will not be going on for **much** longer. I've got some stuff still planned but I'm not gonna drag it out longer than it needs to be :) 
> 
> Thank you again to SubwayWolf for the beta-ing.
> 
> Have fun reading everyone!

A few days had passed since Danny had built up enough desperation to watch Jules’ video. He had gone back to check Rob’s mail again and found two other, shorter clips of Julian the next day. A weird kind of relief had washed over Danny once he realized they had been without a partner as well.

In shameful curiosity, Danny had searched the website for more content but couldn’t find any. For as much as he knew, the three videos he had seen by now were all that was out there. It still made him feel torn. Part of him wanted there to be more but at the same time it was calming to know that porn didn’t seem to be Julian’s main source of income, even though enough people in the comments – who even commented on porn?! – seemed to be highly interested to see more. 

It wasn’t even that Danny looked down on the profession or anyone who took joy or part in the industry. Just the thought of Julian making out and rolling around in bed with someone else made Danny feel sick - especially since the probability was still high that Jules would be rolling around with a girl. Danny knew he had no right to think that way. Julian was an independent human being and in the end Danny had been the one to fuck things up. He had been the one who rejected the kiss because of his preposterous despicable fear of being treated wrong.

Regardless, Danny couldn’t help himself from being relieved that it had been Julian on his own. Not that it said anything about his actual sex life. How in the world would Danny know if Julian wasn’t the type to be flamboyant and flexible? Maybe Julian liked going out, maybe he felt a lot less secluded about sexuality and body contact and maybe he enjoyed hooking up with different girls, or maybe also boys, every few nights or so. Danny had no idea and the longer he thought about the possibilities the clearer it became that he seriously fucked up his chances of getting to know him. 

It was a weird thing to admit your own mistakes that way. Danny only did it silently, at night when he was sitting on his bed and feeling weirdly alone, when the arguments he had had for pushing Julian away got too quiet and left Danny with a head full of accusations against himself. Sometimes he would conclude that it would be best to call Julian the next day, but he never found the courage to actually do it. 

Other nights a text message seemed the best idea, but Danny felt like a douchebag whenever he reached for his phone. Breaking up via text message was one of the most cowardly things to do and asking for forgiveness that way was just about as bad. 

Maybe a letter. Letters were personal and intimate. The fact that in the modern age somebody still took the time to write out words and send them to someone else had a romantic and pleading charm. But Danny hated his handwriting, feared that Julian wouldn’t even be able to read his thoughts and felt like he would make things seem overly dramatic. It would seem like Danny was trying to push their situation into something that resembled a romantic comedy movie instead of real life which meant that he couldn’t bring himself to write the letter either. 

Danny really wanted to apologize he just didn’t know how and the thought of Julian still living in the same area but staying away slowly ate him up inside. Going to the gym on his own had become a definite no-go. Instead, he only went if he was sure he’d be able to join Rob. While walking through the hallways or exercising, though, Danny always kept an eye out for Jules. Maybe if he’d end up being pushed in a face-to-face situation, he would actually find the courage to tell Julian how sorry he was. Maybe he’d find the strength to ask for a second chance. 

But Julian either seemed to avoid the gym in general or just never showed up when Danny and Rob were around. 

The whole situation was exhausting and Danny tried his best to keep his personal affairs out of the café at least. Obviously Rob and his other employees knew that things were still wrong but gladly the customers didn’t seem to notice. 

The older and, for the most part, grumpy-looking man that came in every day to get one strong black coffee, seemed as unaffected by Danny’s mood as the young gay couple that kept coming back on three or four days a week. While Rob kept on trying to make Danny smile or laugh with stupid jokes about the old man looking like a football coach, who probably only came in because he had a crush on Danny’s Gran and waited for her to visit the café, Danny was too focused on longing for what Stephen and Ryan had to actually laugh. They were cute together, Stephen always having one arm protectively slung around Ryan’s waist. Officially Danny didn’t know their names, but they mostly talked in hushed, soft voices while they were waiting for their orders to be prepared, and Danny’s hearing had always been good. 

Sometimes Danny wished he wasn’t as much of a sap. His life would be a lot easier if he wasn’t so focused on his imaginary picture of a nice relationship. If only he could go around and have fun as Rob seemed to like doing. For Danny, romantic interest always went hand in hand with “I wonder if we’d be a good couple even after being married for 25 years.” 

It had felt that way with Julian, at least in Danny’s mind, which probably made the situation sting so much. It had been two weeks by now and he hadn’t had a chance to see or talk to Julian. He still missed him, and every day he realized Jules was still on his mind, Danny got annoyed with himself. This needed to stop, he needed to stop torturing himself and realize that they didn’t even have anything together. A soft flirt in the café might have been the gentle beginning of building a friendship, that was it. Danny had no right and no interest to hurt himself over and over again by keeping Julian on his mind. But forgetting the other one was easier said than done. 

Danny felt weird for what his heart kept on doing and he considered laughing at himself way too often, especially when he opened up the porn clips of Julian just to see his face again. In no way could Danny get more pathetic.

At work, at least, Danny could distract himself most of the time especially since Rob seemed to be overly energetic and in the best mood possible. Danny had tried to ask his best friend if anything amazing had happened or what else was going on with him but Rob always reassured him that he was just happy to be where he was right now in life. 

Things did get obvious for Danny though when Rob placed his apron into the cupboard at the end of their shift and grinned at Danny with soft eyes. “Danny? You mind if I get going early tonight? You know I don’t like leaving you alone in here with the rest of stuff to do but my boyfriend is taking me out for dinner tonight.”

Danny looked up and blinked. 

“Your… boyfriend?” Danny’s voice was as confused as it could get. Rob was, as far as Danny knew, as straight as he could get. At least he had always seemed that way, always flirted with the ladies lounging around the café during his shifts. 

“Yep.” Rob just grinned and already started to put on his jacket. Obviously for Rob the whole concept of what he had just said and the implications it brought didn’t seem all that confusing. He seemed like it was the most normal thing to say. 

“But…” Danny shook his head slightly. “I thought you were straight?!” He blurted out then and moved away from the counter he had just been cleaning. Instead he walked over to stand in front of Rob, doing his best to seem as accusingly dominant as possible, which looked ridiculous considering he would look straight at Rob’s chest if he didn’t tilt his head up to catch his gaze. 

Rob just furrowed his brow for a moment and looked down at Danny, obviously being the one who got confused now. “Uhm… never really thought about that.” Rob admitted with a grin and shrugged his shoulders. “Do I need to label myself?”

Danny couldn’t believe it. It seemed such a normal thing for everyone to decide on their sexuality at some point. For Danny it had only been natural to draw his conclusions from what he liked or disliked in the past and give himself a label. He had always felt like it was expected, like everyone was supposed to be able to answer the question about one’s sexuality if it came up. Danny had never considered the fact that someone might just not think about it at all. Even though it definitely seemed like a Rob-thing to do.

“I don’t know…” Danny admitted, his voice being slow and thoughtful because he was actually considering Rob’s words. “I just thought, you are my best friend and you’ve always been out with all these girls.” Danny shook his head, still confused as Rob burst out laughing. 

“Oh, Danny Boy.” Rob laughed and shook his head before wrapping his arms around Danny, hugging him tightly and lifting him up for a second. “You are just far too fenced in your pretty little head. You and your perfect images of how relationships work and those romantic ideas of how pretty couples meet, fall in love and then marry.” Rob sounded sweet and loving, not at all mocking even though he made Danny feel stupid nonetheless. 

What the hell was he talking about?

“Rob, I’m being serious here!” Danny tried with a helpless laugh while he got still squeezed by Rob’s thick arms. “You… how do you have a boyfriend, and since _when_?!” Danny chuckled a bit helplessly now and looked back up again once Rob had set him down. 

“Yesterday.” Rob grinned as if it was the most normal thing to say. “I’ve been with boys before, you sap.” Rob’s hand came up to ruffle through Danny’s hair. “You really thought I could go through college and not try things out? And I told you about Alex and how much fun I had dating him for a week!”

“But you never mentioned that Alex was a boy! I thought you were talking about a girl!” Danny exclaimed and wrinkled his nose at how weird the situation had just gotten. 

Rob looked confused but shrugged his shoulders with an innocent chuckle then. “I just … don’t care about gender, Danny. I fall into whichever arms I wanna have and I don’t think about marrying anyone for the next 25 years at least. I just wanna have fun and I have that. Right now I have it with a boy, next week it might be a girl, or in a month. I never know. I like JJ. If the sex is good enough I might stay with him for a bit longer than I usually would.” 

Rob grinned as Danny blushed. 

“You just gotta start being a bit more laid-back, Danny. Not every person you meet might be the special someone you wanna spend the rest of your life with. It’s stupid to say no to everyone because they might not be the one you’re gonna be next to in bed 70 years from now. I wanna have someone next to me right now, not when I’m 87.” Rob chuckled again.

They looked up then as soft knocking drew his attention. 

“And before you ask me: Zack is good.” Rob winked at Danny. “Maybe you should find yourself someone to help you over the self-imposed heart break you are going through right now. You know I love you Danny, I really do.” Rob said as he was already walking over to the door. “But as your friend I need to be honest. You’re torturing yourself for no reason at all.” Rob shrugged his shoulders as he opened the door and revealed a tall, well-built, blonde guy who grinned at him softly. “So if you wanna fuck Julian, go get him, tiger. Seriously. Someone’s gotta make the first step.”

JJ blinked, confused, and Danny blushed even more furiously, how could Rob talk about these things so nonchalantly in front of someone who didn’t even know Danny?!

“And if you wanna fall in love with him and have his babies, you know like … adopted babies, then you gotta fucking go and get him as well. He’s not gonna come over on a white horse and slay a dragon for you – which nobody should do anyway because dragons are cool as fuck – if you want him you better man the fuck up.”

“That’s a lot of cursing,” JJ mumbled next to Rob and laughed then when Rob grinned at him. Apparently they had some kind of inside joke going on that Danny didn’t know about. He just knew he was overstrained. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Danny.” Rob winked at him. “And you better move your ass and make a decision, otherwise somebody else might realize he’s a cutie and get him before you do. You can use the porn as a conversation starter!” Rob seemed excited. 

“Rob, I’m _not_ using _porn_ as a conversation starter!” Danny exclaimed.

At the same time JJ couldn’t hold back the question: “What porn?”

“Gonna explain and show it to you later, Danny’s got a crush and he’s behaving like a little school girl. Hey, maybe a skirt, Danny,” Rob looked over at him. “Maybe Jules is into that.” Another wink and Danny groaned helplessly, wondering if his face would ever turn back to a normal color. 

“Hmm, pretty boys in skirts.” JJ grinned and laughed then when Rob looked at him and wiggled his eyebrows. “Boys, I said _boys_ , Rob! Even though with your legs… maybe…” 

They both laughed again and Danny shivered in discomfort. How were they so easy with all this? 

“Can we go now?” JJ asked then and Rob nodded before leaning in to catch one soft kiss from the other one’s lips. “Hi, by the way.”=Danny couldn’t look away and smiled even though he was still confused. Rob had said JJ was his boyfriend but by the rest of what he’d talked about it might as well be that they’d be together for 2 weeks and count it as a success. The whole idea seemed confusing to Danny, as was the information that Rob wasn’t straight and apparently knew way more about Zack than Danny wanted to ever consider Rob knowing.

“See you tomorrow,” Danny more or less coherently mumbled while Rob waved at him and closed and locked the door behind himself after leaving the saleroom. 

Danny looked around in the empty room then, feeling tired all of a sudden and definitely overstrained. He still had work to do and he’d get it done but his mind was boiling with all the input Rob had just nonchalantly thrown at him. 

Even though Danny considered them best friends it had felt weird to get Rob to talk to him like this. Danny felt somehow diminished for not being as open-minded as it seemed normal for Rob to be. He knew Rob wasn’t a person to judge him for his troubled mind and his maybe old-fashioned standards and wishes but it still felt weird to see first-hand that there were different ways of thinking and how they seemed to be a lot easier. 

With his mind still racing, thoughts entangling each other constantly, Danny got back to cleaning the counter before moving to the kitchen to tidy everything in there up as well. His heart was still jumping in his chest, his body reacting to the nervousness that pumped adrenalin into his system. 

Maybe Rob was right, maybe it would be good idea after all to make the first step and just call Julian. Or walk up to his flat with 200 roses in his arms. Or maybe he should be more open-minded and laid-back. Maybe it would be the right choice to follow Rob’s way of thinking and just go around and search for someone to distract himself. 

But on the other hand Danny remembered the way Stephen and Ryan had looked this morning, with Stephen whispering something into his boyfriend’s ear and making the smaller one blush furiously. And he knew he couldn’t do things the way Rob did. He wanted what Stephen and Ryan had. He wanted a relationship like that, wanted someone to hold or be held by, wanted to be kissed and wanted the other one to know him by heart and make him blush in front of strangers.

Danny just wasn’t the type for wild partying and flirting. And as much as it annoyed him that he didn’t feel like he could change himself easily and how his style of thinking brought him far too much pain and helplessness, maybe it was fine. 

Because one day maybe he’d end up with someone who could do that to him. 

Maybe he just needed to be patient

Maybe Jules would turn up on a white horse after all. 

And if not, maybe Danny could at least work up the courage to apologize, make them a blank canvas again and offer to go and get the horse himself.


	10. Black Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody, here we go with this week's chapter! I hope everyone can quite enjoy it even though I have 2 things to say:
> 
> 1\. This chapter is **unbetaed** so far. Which is mostly because I've been really late since I have been super busy and SubwayWolf is busy as well. I hope it's alright anyway and if it gets beta-ed I'll change it to the beta-ed version.
> 
> 2\. Next week there won't be an update because I'll be on easter vacation :) I wish everybody Happy Easter, Happy Egg Hunting and all that :) 
> 
> Have fun reading! :)
> 
> EDIT: by now the chapter is betaed and updated :)

It already seemed like an unusual Wednesday morning to Julian when Tom's car pulled up in front of his flat. They had discussed about this prior, about Tom coming to his building to pick him up, but it was still a weird picture. Tom and his damn expensive car looked slightly misplaced in Julian's neighborhood and somehow he was hoping that no one would pay much attention to the glamorous character that Tom Brady was. Tom had his way of making people surrender to him and putting them under his spell, but Julian really didn't want to answer awkward questions coming from curious girls and boys living around the area alike. 

Especially since the reason for Tom picking him up still seemed weird. Apparently, there were some things that needed fixing at one of the newest properties Tom had bought with his firm and even though Jules wasn't a carpenter Tom had asked him to take a look at them first. Somehow Tom was convinced that Julian was able to fix everything that needed craftsmanship but Jules didn't necessarily agree. Even though he had a talent for building and repairing, cars were a different kind of work than fixing a house. 

Still Julian had given in once Tom had asked him for the third time. Tom had promised him to still pay the usual price for his working hours but mostly because he was still Julian's best friend and since Danny... went wrong, it felt like he was back to Tom being his _only_ friend as well. 

Julian hadn't seen Danny in a while, which didn't mean that he hadn't been thinking about him. Most of his thoughts had reversed about the other man and to the day Jules wasn't sure if staying away had been, or still was, the right decision. He had made sure not to show up at the café since the smoothie date went downhill and he hadn't been to the gym either. Mostly because Julian had no idea how he would react if Danny would just turn up in front of him. He still felt like there had been a real chance for them at some point and it hurt to think that he probably broke it. 

Even though he didn't show much of it anymore – especially not to Tom after that disastrous night he spent over at the older man's place – it was still a feeling that kept him awake sometimes. It was annoying and exhausting but at the same time Julian didn't want to let go of it either. It was still a connection. Somehow it still made him feel close to Danny even though he didn't dare to go near him again.

Once Julian had stepped out of the building, he walked over to Tom and got into the car. “You couldn't have chosen a car that would've attracted less attention?” Julian asked slightly sarcastically.

Tom only smiled at him confidently. “I know it's your favorite one, so stop pretending.”

And Julian knew Tom was right. The R8 was his favorite out of Tom's collection and probably one of his favorite cars of all time. Its elegance and power incorporated an extreme amount of perfect engineering and just worked extraordinarily well. When Tom fired up the engine and set the car in motion Julian couldn't hold back a smile, something that didn't go unnoticed. 

“See?” A smirk was playing around Tom's lips. “I knew it. I just thought if I already force you to come with me and leave the garage for work that you don't know if you want to or can do, I can at least bring a car that you like.” He sounded pleased with himself, something that made the tension inside Julian's body feel slightly relieved. It was always nice to have Tom in a good mood. 

“I still don't quite get why you needed to pick me up in the first place.” Julian tried to make himself sound a lot less flattered and impressed than he was. 

He knew Tom did these things for him. The extra work would give him extra cash for the garage, the picking up in Julian's favorite car was just to make him feel good about himself and enjoy something he usually couldn't. Even though Julian had refused to join Tom as his plus one for any kind of business-oriented events since he had met Danny months ago, Tom still cared about him, maybe more than he should, but it still felt nice. 

“Because the house is not that easy to reach and I wanted to be a good guy for once,” Tom answered in a clear voice with a smile on his lips. He was obviously more than happy to have Julian beside him, at least for a while. “I just thought we stop for a coffee in a few minutes and then I'll drive us to the place. You'll understand once we’re there; you would've cursed me if I had sent you into that maze of small streets all by yourself.”

Julian wasn't quite sure if he wouldn't curse Tom anyway once they would arrive at the building together, but he could understand his friend's reasoning. The whole part of getting a coffee was something Julian just ignored for now. If Tom had a plan in mind there was no use in trying to change it. There never had been - even when Julian was still back in high school. If Tom Brady was set on something, you either went with it or stepped aside.

The second Tom stopped the car on a parking lot, Julian looked outside and froze. This couldn't be happening.

“Alright, you coming inside with me?” Tom grinned at Jules, still in an amazing mood as it seemed, blinking confused for a second once he realized how tense Julian had gotten. “Hey, are you alright?” There was a hint of concern in his voice even though it was mostly filled with confusion. 

“I won't go in there.” Julian tried to get out of this situation without having to explain himself but sighed when he saw Tom's look on his face. He was already set on finding out what Julian's behavior was about and they both knew Jules could either talk now, or would get questioned for the rest of the day. And since Julian would have no chance to step aside for the next few hours, his choices were limited. 

“It's the place Danny works at,” Julian just mumbled while putting one hand over his eyes and rubbing his eyelids carefully. “We haven't seen each other since... _then_. And I just don't want to get in there.” 

Somehow Julian expected Tom to comment on it. He expected the usual thoroughly thought through reasons on why Julian was acting like a teenager and why he should just man up and go inside, since they stopped for a coffee, not a marriage proposal. But none of it happened. 

Tom looked at him before he simply nodded and got out of the car easily. “I'll be back in a minute, you just stay put. I'll get you your usual.”

This seemed almost too easy.

* * *

Danny's morning had been busy, but by now he and Rob had managed to get to the time of the day where less and less people were coming in. The downtime between breakfast and lunch was normal and they usually used it for their breaks and for doing all the chores that couldn't be done while were constantly working on orders. 

Rob was cleaning the tables in the saleroom and Danny had started to clean the coffee machine when the small bell on the door rang as another customer entered. As Danny looked up, his breath caught in his throat for a second. 

It was a man, a damn attractive one. He was older than Danny definitely, he was taller as well and had piercing eyes once he had taken off his sunglasses in a way that made Danny feel like he was watching a runway show or a fashion commercial. Even Rob, as far as Danny could see, looked up from where he was working on a table and blinked, obviously impressed. 

Impressive was probably the best word to use - next to gorgeous - when it came to describing this guy. He looked like a male model, or a god, slightly unreal and somehow he carried an aura with him that made Danny's knees go weak. He suddenly felt a lot smaller than he usually did and swallowed once the man stepped up to the counter and smiled at him.

“Hi.” His voice sounded different than Danny had expected but it carried the same kind of elegance and strength his attitude had suggested. He was looking at the menu before his eyes fell back on Danny while he gave him his orders. He went with two drinks, one black coffee and one cappuccino with almond milk and Danny trembled a bit when he nodded. Almond milk reminded him of Julian and it felt weird to use it for someone else's order. 

On the other hand though, Danny was happy he could cater to this special customer's needs. In his extremely expensive-looking suit he looked like someone who could easily become a regular if he felt at home enough or liked the taste of the cake and the quality of the service. Maybe he was testing the drinks first and would be coming back another day to get something else. No matter if it actually was this man's plan for today or not, Danny had learned early on that it was always the most important thing to present yourself and your business perfectly to new customers. Every customer obviously, but especially if you had reason to think they might be able to “ _order a huge cake for a birthday_ ” as his Gran used to say.

Danny prepared the order quickly and easily, walking over to the register then smiling when the man offered him his card to pay. Once Danny looked up and had given back the card, though, the other man's gaze got a lot more stern.

“Can I do anything else for you?” Danny asked in a soft and friendly voice, hoping that the coffee wasn't already too hot or too cold for the other man to like it. 

The customer nodded before looking around for another second, looking at Rob before setting his gaze on Danny again. “Yes, actually. Are you the only Danny who works here?” The man's voice was definitely more tensed than it had been before. The coffee cups were resting on the counter again. 

“Uhm, yes,” Danny answered and confusion mixed with curiosity. It was obvious why the man knew his name, they all had their names embroidered on their aprons, but the way the question had been verbalized it was clear that he had been searching specifically for Danny, just that Danny couldn't guess why.

Their gazes met again and the air around Danny felt a bit colder than before. He knew it was nonsense, that the temperature had not actually changed but it still felt real enough. “I'm Tom,” the other man said, while he was quite obviously changing his body language now as well. He seemed bigger than before and suddenly a lot more intimidating. “I have a message for you that you better remember: Stay the fuck away from Julian.” 

Danny blinked and swallowed because he was mostly taken aback at first. He was used to having a customer once in a while using the wrong tone or getting rude, but those were usually people that displayed their mean or impolite attitude right from the start. The fact that this guy seemed mostly elegant made the sudden change of atmosphere just weirder and uncomfortable. Plus Danny had no idea why or how this guy was connected to Julian...

“I don't care what things you have going on in your head about him. I don't know what you thought you could do to him or how it would be okay to act towards him. But I _dare_ you to get close to him again and I swear to god you will regret it.” 

Danny felt like stepping back even though he tried leaning against the counter for support. He could see Rob looking up again, straightening his body in a way that made him seem bigger and Danny just shivered from the tension in the room getting thicker. “I...” 

“There is no you in this,” Tom snarled and stopped Danny from answering at all. “Just know that a guy like you, a guy that works in a coffee shop at your age instead of having anything close to a decent job and a proper income, a guy that obviously has no manners and doesn't know how to properly treat someone as great as Julian, doesn't get close to him again without paying the price.”

With those words Tom caught the coffee from the counter top and threw a glance over to Rob who was nearing the counter, obviously about to get in between them and show Tom the exit. 

“You hold back, watchdog. I'm on my way anyway. I just wanna make sure that my words were clear and understood.” Tom threw another dark glance at Danny. “He deserves better than you. Fucking put that through your skull.”

Danny stood there dumbfounded as Tom turned around and made his way out of the shop. He felt crushed... bit onto his lower lip and rubbed a hand over his face. Never in his life had Danny been more grateful that there hadn't been any customers around in the shop for the moment. He still wasn't up to deal with Rob either, so he just made a gesture towards his best friend before he moved to disappear into the kitchen. His heart was beating harshly in his chest, he felt weak and sweaty and his head was dizzy just from the tension the atmosphere had caused. His tummy was acting up a bit as well and Danny put both of his hands onto the sink while he tried to calm himself down. 

He knew whatever that guy had said, whoever he even was he, that he shouldn't let it get to him. But at the same time, that was damn fucking hard.

* * *

When Tom fell back into the driver's seat next to Julian he handed him a cup with his order and smiled slightly. “Here we go, cappuccino with almond milk,” Tom nodded before putting his cup into the holder by his side. “And don't worry, I took care of Danny.”

Immediately Jules eyes shot up and he caught onto Tom, looking at him in confusion. “What do you mean, you took care of Danny?”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone :) 
> 
> First of all: Sorry for the cliffhanger ;) The last chapter is by now beta-read! Which means all my mistakes are gone! But since I was far too slow again we are playing the same game with this chapter: It is not beta-read so far and I'll upate it, as soon as it will be corrected. I just don't want to let you guys wait for too long. My English isn't horrible, so I hope you are alright reading it :) I like it better when I get it beta-read, especially because I value Zack's opinion a lot, but I was just too slow: So all my fault :( sorry.
> 
> Love all you guys, hope everyone had a great easter (and a lot of good food like I had *yum*) & have fun reading!

Waiting for his heart to slow down and his breathing to go back to normal had felt like an eternity for Danny. He knew it couldn't have actually taken that long because Rob – as understanding as he was – would never leave him alone for too long, especially if he had a very real reason to worry about his best friend. But right now seconds felt like they were going on for minutes and Danny still tried to get a good grip on what had actually happened. 

The guy hadn't even introduced himself, which probably made sense if one wanted to walk into a store and start insulting the workers there, but it still felt so strange to Danny. He'd never been treated like that before. From time to time rude customers would set a foot into a café, some wouldn't care a lot about basic manners but never before had somebody actually personally insulted Danny. 

The whole encounter had been weird. Danny still didn't understand who the guy was, or how he was connected to Julian. Danny had obviously understood the words that man had thrown at him, he still couldn't make any sense of them. He had never actually done anything to Julian! 

It needed a few minutes and a lot of concentration for Danny to go back and relive the moments he'd spent with Julian since they met for the first time but even while he was searching for his own mistakes, he just couldn't find any. He hadn't done anything besides drawing back as he got kissed and not having the courage to call or text the other one afterwards.

A weird mixture of sadness and anger build inside Danny's ribcage. Nothing of it was directed at Julian but Danny had always hated not understanding people. And that guy and his scene in the café were purely confusing to him. What had Julian told his... friend? Was the man even a friend of Julian? Was he a brother, or a cousin? Maybe a boyfriend? Had Julian actually been in a relationship right from the start and used Danny as a toy to spice up his life while he was committed to someone else? 

Somehow Danny couldn't believe that. Julian didn't seem like the guy who would do that, who would kiss someone else when he was actually in love. But maybe he wasn't in love anymore, maybe his actual relationship was slowly drowsing off into a soft slumber and maybe he had searched for someone to spark up his feelings again. 

Did Danny really think Julian could be that calculating? 

He didn't. 

But all of that didn't change the fact that Danny's stomach was still acting up and felt as if it had been kicked physically. “Not even a decent job...”, Danny mumbled, breathing through his teeth before he chuckled bitterly. Was that what Julian had told that guy? Was it what Julian thought? That he was in his thirties and still only working part time at some coffee shop, side by side with a bunch of students? Had Julian never noticed the fact that Danny was in this café basically every day of the week? That he was working orders but that he was also organizing his staff and that this whole place belonged to him. How in the world would he be able to pay for his rent, his gym membership, his food, everything, if he was working a student's job instead of a full time one? 

Somehow that thought stung the most. The threatening had been harsh, but it hurt Danny worse to be diminished. He had worked hard to get to where he wanted to be, to own and organize this place, to make it look the way it looked today and to make it as popular as it now was. He just couldn't believe this was what Julian thought of him.

While he was in the back Danny looked around. He loved this kitchen, he loved the whole place. Everything in here was something he was proud of, something either his grandmother or him had accomplished. She had started with basically nothing years ago and he had put all of his willpower and strength into learning more and more so he could eventually continue her legacy. This café was probably what he was most proud of in his life, it was what filled his days and it was his weakest point. 

Danny knew that the guy had only wanted to cause trouble, that he had meant to hurt him, that he probably hadn't even thought through what he was going to say. Even though the man had seemed like one perfectly controlled personality, it had been obvious how he had made up his speech as he went. Still it was harder than Danny had imagined to just shake off the negativity those words had caused inside of him. He felt sick, even though his heart rate was back to normal, and part of him didn't want to go back outside. Back in the kitchen no customers would bother him. Dough was usually a quiet company and somehow Danny felt more inclined to that idea at the moment than to the thought of walking back to the counter and putting on a smile to make their customers happy. 

On the other hand though: Danny knew at least once people came in for lunch Rob wouldn't be able to handle the situation outside without help. Just two more minutes, Danny thought to himself, then he would get himself back together and go outside.

* * *

Julian had not even waited for Tom to finish his explanation. All he had needed to hear from his so called friend had been another few words, about how he had made sure that Danny wouldn't bother Julian anymore. But as always Tom had not understood a thing. It had never been about getting away from Danny. It had been about getting closer to him. Just his own clumsiness and cowardliness had held Julian back. He couldn't say if part of Tom's decision making had been based on how he still felt about Julian and if maybe he wanted to ensure Julian being with him for a bit longer, but Julian didn't care about that. 

As soon as Tom had been a few words into his explanation Julian had just opened the door of the car and got outside. He had heard Tom calling his name but all he had been able to do was flipping him off, while jogging over to the café. At some point in the future Julian would need to have one serious conversation with his friend. One about how the other one couldn't just dare to intervene with his life. One about how to treat people even if they weren't exactly working out or acting the way Tom wanted them to. Tom had always had a strong mind and expected everyone to follow him but sometimes he needed to let go. 

No matter which conversations with Tom would await Julian in the future though, he was opening the door to the café now, shivering at the idea of what was directly ahead of him. He didn't exactly know what Tom had done, but he had seen him angry before and he knew that his friend could get nasty and mean. Over the years Tom had brought his hateful stare and his way of putting people in place to absolute perfection. It was a skill that he needed somehow, that he also sometimes seemed to enjoy. But it was one that could as well destroy things that weren't meant to be destroyed. 

Julian shook his head as he stepped inside the saleroom. He didn't actually know how much damage Tom had caused but he knew that whatever exactly happened, Danny had not deserved Tom going after him. Julian needed to apologize. For everything really. 

With a careful glance towards the counter Julian let the door fall close and shivered when Rob stared back at him, no smile on his face at all. Never before had Julian realized how big Rob actually was. 

“Hey.” Julian carefully started while he walked up to the counter and swallowed when the only reaction he got out of the other one was him crossing his arms, flexing his biceps in the process, showing off and making himself look even bigger. “Listen, is Danny around? I...”

“No.” Rob answered in a stern voice looking at Julian in a way that almost hurt all by itself. And Julian understood. In Rob's position he probably would've done the same. 

“I just want to apologize.” Julian tried again, searching for the other one's eyes after he had looked around to see if he was maybe able to find Danny on his own, but he had to be in the back as far as Julian could judge. “I don't know what my...” - what was Tom really? - “boss said to Danny exactly but whatever it was, I know it was nothing that Danny deserved to hear.” Jules voice sounded pleading and somehow he thought that would help. 

“No.” Rob said again and shook his head. “You've properly managed to deal enough damage.” He moved and put his hands onto the counter, while he looked at Julian. “You had a damn good chance with him and he was damn hard crushing on you but you managed to fuck it up bad enough. I'm not letting you get to him and completely kill him off now.”

Julian's facial expression slightly changed from worry and pleading to surprise. Most of what Rob said made sense, but what was he talking about? At what point did Julian have an actual chance with Danny? How could Rob say it, when Rob was his boyfr.... “Wait you aren't with him?” Julian blurted out helplessly and even though Rob's figure was impressive enough Julian leaned in further and put his hand opposite of Gronk's on the counter. 

“Me and Danny?” - now it was Rob's turn to look at the other one in utter confusion. “No, absolutely not, he's like a little brother to me even though he's older, there is _no way_ we could ever be anything...” Rob's voice was thoughtful now, while he watched Julian and Jules just tried to be as quiet as possible. 

His insides were in turmoil, his mind slowly catching up to the fact that he had – in fact – been a complete idiot but he didn't want to give the taller one any reason to mistrust him even more. He needed to be trustworthy, he needed Rob to be on his side, he needed to apologize, to see Danny most of all. 

“Listen, I really just... want to apologize.” Julian tried again, while Rob was still watching him, looking thoughtful but shaking his head then. 

“God damn it, you two are idiots...”, Rob mumbled but still shook his head, when he leaned back and looked at Julian. “I can't let you go through just like that still.” He said then and sighed a bit. “I don't know how you managed to find the biggest asshole of the planet to get as your boss and I don't understand how your boss can go in here and say those things he talked about but sorry Julian, Danny had enough. I'm his best friend. If I let you talk to him and you fuck him up I don't know how much he can take before he is broken beyond any kind of fast repair.” 

The sudden seriousness in Rob's voice made Julian feel weak and sick to his stomach. He understood the other one's concern but he still wanted to fix what _Tom_ had broken. For a moment he looked at the other one, seemingly calm but then he just couldn't keep up the rational face anymore. 

“ _Danny!_ ”, Julian's voice echoed through the whole café and Rob's eyes went wide. “Danny _please_ let me talk to you!” He sounded pleading and slightly backed away from the counter so it was harder for Rob to interfere if he was going to. 

* * *

When Danny heard Julian's voice coming from the front his heart stopped for a second. His tummy did another jolt, his fingers dug into the sink and his head felt like it was going to drown in a maelstrom of emotions again. But how could he withstand Julian's pleading?


	12. White Flour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone :) 
> 
> Here we go with this week's chapter! It is still unbetaed, I hope nobody is having too much trouble with this! I've got 2 valuable pieces of information for you (again :P) : 
> 
> 1\. Around the middle of this Julian talks. A lot. And I deliberately decided to leave out as many punctuation marks as possible to highlight the rush and hurry he is in and how he feels. I hope nobody is gonna be all too bothered by this. It does make things look like a few long-ass sentences but just read it and put in "breaks" where you would breathe :) I hope that's alright
> 
> 2\. I will start an internship the day after tomorrow (YAY) which is an incredible chance for me and how my future plans might develop. I can't guarantee that the next update will be on time. I will try my best but right now this 'real life' part of my life definitely has first priority :) But I didn't leave you hanging with another cliffhanger this time so I hope everyone will be alright. Technically I don't even know if there will follow a 'true' story chapter. Maybe the next thing will be the epilogue. Maybe I'll put in two epilogue chapters. I don't know yet. We'll see. But yes just so everybody is prepared: Internship coming up which is why I'll be busy :)
> 
> Enjoy reading :)

“Danny, please!”, Julian tried again - loud enough this time to make sure Danny would hear him. He couldn't know if there was a cold storage room in the back, or a door leading outside. He just wanted to make sure that no matter what happened he never had to regret not trying hard enough. So that was what he did: he tried. Hard.

It took longer though, longer than he had wanted and hoped. He called once more, slowly feeling awkward by the way Rob looked at him more and more impatient with every second. It was obvious that the bigger man was contemplating throwing him out and the only reason he hadn't done so yet, was probably his really pacifistic nature. Still Julian could see and hear Rob clearing his throat and he knew what he was gonna say. He knew Rob would offer him to go before he got himself into real trouble.

Still he took another step, this time to the side, hoping he could throw a glance to the back of the shop and maybe see Danny. Maybe if he would catch the other one's eyes, Danny wouldn't be able to hide anymore. If there was anything of what they had had left inside Danny then there was no way he could run away or hide while looking at Julian. At least that seemed like the last straw.

But trying to use and abuse the connection only eyes could create didn't seem necessary anymore when suddenly Danny showed up in the passage between saleroom and kitchen. Finally.

For the first few seconds Julian didn't even know what to say. His hands got sweaty and his heart was hammering in his chest. Never before in his life had a situation felt as much like a last chance as this one. Danny looked up and his eyes were slightly reddened. Julian just swallowed and tried hold his gaze. 

“You have two minutes.”, Danny's voice sounded soft but also weak in a way that it broke Julian's heart. “Two minutes, then you are out of here. And we'll talk back here. I don't want any personal matter to happen in the saleroom.” With those words Danny turned away again and walked away from the door. 

Julian threw one careful look at Rob but since he didn't seem like he still wanted to interfere he just quickly followed Danny stepping into the kitchen - a part of the café he hadn't seen before. 

“Thank you.” Julian's voice was careful now and by far more quiet than it had been during his trials to catch Danny's attention. “I...” He stopped when Danny looked up and their eyes met again. The other one looked on the verge of tears? Breaking down? Julian couldn't see all too clearly but he knew he wanted to get closer and just apologize for hours. He knew he couldn't do that now, knew Danny was waiting for him to speak and that he was wasting valuable time but the situation wasn't that easy. 

It was not like they were in a movie and Julian had a script. There was no masterplan, no genius dialog written for him, no words that he knew would make everything look great and perfect again. He had no guarantee for a good outcome or any idea of what the outcome could be. The sudden realization of it pulled the rug out from under him. His heart stumbled and jumped into his throat making him feel chocked and helpless. Still he tried pulling himself together.

Two minutes. That was all he had. At least for giving Danny a reason to give him two more minutes. And maybe two more after that. 

“I don't know what Tom said.” Julian suddenly blurted out and moved one hand up to brush it through his hair before he rubbed it over his neck, trying to find Danny's gaze again, even though the other one was looking down at the table in front of him. “I really don't. But I didn't want him to talk to you at all. He just wanted to get some coffee. I don't know why he thought this would be okay, talking to you would be okay.” It was just all of his thoughts, unfiltered. Whatever came to his mind he spat out, hoping that somehow somewhere in there Danny would find the things he needed to hear to give him another chance.

“I'm working for him.” Julian tried to provide the valuable information first. “I've known him since we were children, he's always been close to me and protective. He... I barely talked to him about you, just when... when after I kissed you, I felt like I violated your good heart and your good manners and I hated myself for it and back then he was worried and I went over to his place after he asked me to and that was the only time I told him a bit more about you and I tried to make him understand that all of this was my fault, that I was the asshole in this scenario and that you had a boyfriend – which I now realized you don't at least not the one I thought you had – because I thought Rob was your boyfriend, and I felt so damn horrible about everything and I told Tom. Back then I told him how bad I felt, I think, I don't know. I was drunk. But now he just told me that he talked to you and he shouldn't have. Tom always thinks he has control and overview, he thinks it's his business to make decisions and act on them and that his opinion is always the right one. But he didn't understand a single thing about you and he has no idea about you and me and how utterly sweet you've been to me during all this time and I'm just really sorry, Danny, this was not what it should've been. Nothing between us was.”

Danny still didn't look up and Julian felt horrible. It was harsh to apologize to someone who wouldn't even look at you. On the other hand Jules understood. He had really done enough harm to be in trouble for a long while and he didn't really deserve the support of being met with friendly glances while he was talking. He deserved to be thrown out actually, so he probably should be a lot more happy about the fact that he had been given the chance to talk at all. 

“I'm really sorry, Danny.” Jules said again. “I didn't want him to get involved. Actually all I wanted from the beginning was getting a chance to get to know you. I liked the way you were and I don't have many friends around here because I just moved here a few months ago. I liked you. And I guess when liking you started to work it's way into my daily routine I thought acting on it, ever so slightly would be okay. But it wasn't. I should've been open and direct from the start. Should've told you my intentions and not just drawn conclusions from the way you acted with Rob. But I didn't want to come off as a guy without manners. I know that's hard to believe thinking that I've kissed you even though I thought you were in a relationship with Rob.”

A deep sigh left Julian's lips and he shook his head carefully. “Fuck all of this really...”, he mumbled and carefully scratched his neck again. “I'm so bad at these things. I really am.”

“I can see and hear that.”, Danny's voice was low but clear when he looked up and actively caught Julian's gaze. “You are really shit at apologizing.” A small chuckle fell from Danny's lips and Jules wasn't quite sure if it was his turn to laugh now or if he wasn't allowed to. Since Danny stopped after a few seconds the question answered itself. 

“So, you gonna throw me out, now?” Julian carefully held Danny's gaze again and his skin shivered, while his heart made little jumps inside his chest. 

 

“I might.” Danny smiled while he watched the way Julian was so obviously self-conscious about the situation. It looked unusual to Danny, mostly because the other one had always been the confident and funny one, when they had spend time together. Danny couldn't deny the fact that it was obvious how difficult apologizing had been to Julian. And that he liked how it made Julian struggle for once. Not because he enjoyed watching the other man being helpless and self-conscious, but the fact that nothing of this felt like it had been planned out before just made it feel as real as possible. Somehow it felt like a confirmation for the fact that Julian was actually genuine. And even though the thought of somebody considering him and Rob to be a couple was ridiculous, Danny somehow started to understand. 

In all the confused and intertwined words Julian had used one thing seemed to be obvious: He was actually interested to make this right again. He wanted Danny to see that he wasn't an asshole and that he hadn't said anything bad about him. Something that felt more like a relief than it should. Danny knew that he had always wanted to be independent, not caring a bit about other people's opinions but there was no denying the fact that he had been hurt by the idea of someone diminishing his accomplishments. 

“What do I have to do to not get thrown out?”, Julian's voice carefully disturbed Danny in his thoughts and made the world around him get into a clearer focus again. 

“Answer me two questions, truthfully.” Danny straightened his posture and even though his eyes were probably still slightly red because sometimes the blood vessels in his eyes tended to explode when he got angry, he looked at Julian with a serious face. The other man nodded and seemed like he was bracing himself.

“One: Do you think I'm just part-time working here alongside students?”, Danny propped up one eyebrow and held Julian's gaze while he saw the other one slowly shaking his head. 

“I never actually thought about your role or work-schedule in here. I always felt like this place was important to you and I was... distracted.”, Julian mumbled and sighed then. “Truth to be told: I didn't waste a thought to your occupation. All I was thinking about was if I could ever have a chance.”

While Danny's cheeks turned slightly red it felt really good to heart those words. It was weird since they still shouldn't mean so much but they somehow did. And slowly Danny had to admit to himself that they've both been idiots if really all they had done had been standing in front of each other, longing for one another, but neither of them having the courage to actually speak up. 

The mood in the room felt still quite tensed but Danny was sure he would change that with the second question that had been burning in his mind for much longer than the first one. He had no further interest in exploring Tom and his relationship to Julian. He couldn't care less about the man that had been nothing but an unfriendly asshole towards him. But there was something he wanted to know more about. 

“Good, because your friend made a point of how ridiculous it was for me to work in a place like this at my age.” Danny still had to explain why he had asked that question in particular and Julian seemed surprised but immediately angry as well. “And since I own this place I felt slightly taken aback by being diminished on such a personal level.” Danny tried to sound stronger than he had actually felt but he could see in the way that Julian looked at him, that it only partially worked. 

“Anyway... You did porn?”

Silence. For a moment Danny could actually see the way Julian's mind went to be an utterly blank space for a few seconds, absolutely lost in disbelief. 

“Rob send me links he found and....”, even though Danny tried to stay cool, he could feel his cheeks heating up. He could only imagine how probably his whole face was on fire already anyway so he just kept on talking. “I wasn't really prepared for them.” - and if he could've chosen a worse way to say this, he would've probably found it as well. 

Julian was still looking at him, silently, but then suddenly started to chuckle, before a proper laugh fell from his lips. “Oh my god, and here I am in true fear if I will ever have a chance to rebuild the friendship between you and me and you think now is the best time to tell me that you've seen my camboy videos?” Julian was still laughing, but rubbed his hands over his face before he shrugged his shoulders. 

“I did. I was younger, I had no money whatsoever but I needed it. The opportunity came up and I actually liked the idea. I've never been shy about my body and this way I got to jerk off and make money...” He smirked. “Did you like what you saw?” He was back to being his teasing flirty self now Danny realized and smiled.

“I'm not answering that question.” Danny carefully chose his words while he was sure he was still blushing. But at least his words weren't a mess of stumbling and stuttering around the topic. 

“Maybe I'll have to put it to the test then.” Jules smirked again and Danny shivered. 

“Maybe you have to.”

Danny watched as Julian walked through the room then coming closer to him until he was right next to him. It made the situation so much more real so suddenly that neither of them really knew where to go from where they were now. Flirting when being far apart was easy once in each other's personal space it was not.

Still Danny's senses got invaded by the way Julian smelled and part of his usual reasonable self felt like it just got fired. 

“We didn't really get this right the first time.” Danny said in a soft voice and saw the way Julian nodded. 

“Our chance to do it better now.” was Julian's only quiet reaction before Danny felt a pair of gentle lips against his own and smiled. This time he wouldn't run and Julian wouldn't either - but his hands were in this wild blond hair in seconds and his tummy and heart on a rollercoaster. It was weird, the situation was, there was probably flour on his hands - but it was perfect.


End file.
